"Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early."
"I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof."
"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind."
"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?
The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.
"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."
"I didn't think......
