faster's BLOG

I have no idea what these signs are all about..Some of them is crazy.. and also funny...

......

  The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.

On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon"

Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

 "Good morning, madam. I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies"

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" 

After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No......

Old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her frontporch, reflecting on her long life, when--all of a sudden--a fairygodmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will begranted three wishes.

"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."

** POOF *** her rocking chair turns to solid gold.

"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."

*** POOF *** she turns into a beautiful young woman.

"Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother.

Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them.

"Ooh--can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.

*** POOF *** there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine.

She stares at him, smitten.  With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch in his catlike way and whispers in her ear, "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered, aren't......

This picture I get it from my friends. Hard to tell either these picture are true, real, original captured or fake, edited combined photo.

Ghost caught on fire. This picture took at on fire house. I'm not sure is it true or fake picture.

Ghost join taking picture between......

Wo unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."

The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."

"Yes I do!"

"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"

"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down."

"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"

"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down."

"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?"

"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him."

"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"

"Well, then I pick......

1. Look at the size of his putter.

2. Oh, dang, my shafts all bent.

3. You really wicked the hell out of that sucker.

4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

6. Lift your head and spread your legs.

7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.

8. Just turn your back and drop it.

9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.

10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

There are several checkpoints in your vehicle that require frequent maintenance to keep it running the way you want it to. These checkpoints include the following:

• Engine oil/lubricant
• wipers
• lights
• battery
• engine
• tires
• Air conditioning

You don't need to be a professional mechanic to take care of these basic points of your vehicle. 

Engine Oil/lubricant

Change it regularly. Most manufacturers' recommend changing the oil and oil filter in a vehicle every 3000 miles or every 3 months. Which ever comes first. The oil in the engine is responsible for lubrication. It ensures that......

 

this picture taken???