Try these helpful suggestions to bring back the memories.
- Lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of communication should be with letters that your neighbours have held for at least three weeks, discarding two of five.
- Surround yourself with 200 people that you don't really know or like: people who smoke, snore like Mack trucks going uphill, and use foul language like a child uses sugar on cereal.
- Unplug all radios and TVs to completely cut yourself off from the outside world.
- Have a neighbour bring you a Time, Newsweek, or Proceedings from five years ago to keep you abreast of current events.
- Monitor all home appliances hourly, recording all vital information (i.e. plugged in, lights come on when doors open, etc.)
- Do not flush the toilet for five days to simulate the smell of 40 people using the same commode.
- Lock the bathroom twice a day for a four hour period.
- Wear only uniforms. Even though nobody cares, clean......
