Obviously written by some male chauvinist - hope you can 'handle it'?
NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they
will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and
Four-eyes.
EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw
in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than half of these items.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she
does.
DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man
will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of
some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
