(**) Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any group of mammals that exist- especially fruit bats.

(**) Lions will have sex about 500 times with one mate. This is to
ensure fertilization.

(**) In Texas it is illegal to have sex with a fish, in Florida it is
illegal to get a fish drunk, and N. Carolina thought both laws were good so there it is illegal to have sex with a drunk fish.

(**) Dolphins and humans are the only known animals that have sex for pleasure.

(**) The bonobo monkeys use sex (and/or sexual favors) to placate
members of their social group instead of grooming. They are one of the few species of animals (humans being another) that have sex out of season and for fun.

(**) Sperm Whales are sexually mature at birth.

(**) In Argentina, it is rumored that eating cats is good for your
health and stimulates sexual potency.

(**) You can tell a turtle's sex......

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing........

13. Bengal Cat

Price Tag: $800-$3,000

The Bengal Cat is bred by mating a domestic black shorthaired cat with an Asian Leopard cat. As with many hybrids the goal is to create a domestic cat in size and demeanor with the exotic Asian Leopard Cat appearance and coloring. As with most hybrid cats, the breed becomes more and more domesticated with each successive generation, therefore......

TWENTY DOLLARS~   On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new  husband and asked for $20.00 for their first  lovemaking encounter. In  his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.   This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that   his employer was going through a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go.   It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job.   Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly$1 million..   ......

NICKNAMES
    * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and  Sarah.
    * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

 EATING OUT
    * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
    * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 MONEY
    * A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    * A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she  doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
    * A man has six items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a  towel .
    * The average......

 101 Other Uses for a Condom is a collection of black and white cartoons all dealing with alternative uses for condoms. The styles vary as the artists who rendered the cartoons are numerous. In fact, the front cover lists 86 contributors down the left side just under the name Glenn Hauman. Hauman is responsible for pulling this collection together. The work is collected from publications such as National Lampoon, Playboy, Cracked, and Heavy Metal.

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A wife was getting pretty upset about her husband's lack of attention and decided to come on a little stronger to him.

After dinner, she put on her sexy, backless night-gown backwards so her tits were showing and sauntered into the living room.


"Notice anything?" she asked slyly.

"Yes, you've got your night-gown on backwards.......

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1. ATTITUDE IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT....... SOLDIER : SIR WE ARE SURROUNDED FROM ALL SIDES BY ENEMIES , MAJOR : EXCELLENT ! WE CAN ATTACK IN ANY DIRECTION.

2. EVERY ONE KNOWS ABOUT ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL WHO INVENTED PHONES, BUT HE NEVER MADE A CALL TO HIS FAMILY. BECAUSE HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER WERE DEAF. THAT'S LIFE " LIVE FOR OTHERS " .

3. THE WORST IN LIFE IS "ATTACHMENT " ITS HURT WHEN YOU LOSE IT. THE BEST THING IN LIFE IS " LONELINESS " BECAUSE IT TEACHES YOU EVERYTHING AND WHEN YOU LOSE IT. YOU GET EVERYTHING.

4. LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ACT TRUE TO YOUR FACE ........ ITS ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO REMAIN TRUE BEHIND YOUR BACK .

5. EGG BROKEN FROM OUTSIDE FORCE........A LIFE ENDS . IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN.......LIFE BEGINS .GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGAN FROM WITHIN .

6. ITS BETTER TO LOSE YOUR EGO TO THE ONE YOU LOVE. THAN TO LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE ....... BECAUSE OF EGO .

7. A RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T SHINE BY JUST SHAKING HANDS ON BEST TIME.......

Send this to all the women you

care about.....and to any men

who appreciate a good laugh!

Ruffian Skull Metal Earphones

White earbuds are for pansies. Put these bad boys in your ears, and no one will mess with you--even if you're listening to ABBA. Even better: Thanks to the sophisticated drivers and tough metal casing, the Ruffians' audio reproduction is comparable to that of pricey earbuds costing up to four times as much. Besides rocking to your favorite death-metal bands, these buds are appropriate for “Moonstomping, skanking ... and anything requiring a helmet,” as well as for listening to Stephen Hawking and “respecting the sweet serenity of those around you,” says Ben Sedaghat, Radius CEO. Available in copper, gold,......

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10. Death by Storm Drain

Duc Do/Getty Images
Sadly, more than one person has died after getting stuck in a storm drain.

This bizarre and sad death is a good example of tragic bad luck. In 2008, a Canadian man died after attempting to retrieve his stolen wallet from a storm sewer drain. The wallet and some other personal items were stolen after the 57-year-old man left them at a gas station. He called police before finding the wallet in a nearby sewer drain. He tried unsuccessfully to reach it once before the police arrived and cautioned him not to try again. But the man came back later, removed the grate and gave it another shot. When an officer investigating......

Enjoy the Year

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With a head like a fighter-plane cockpit, a Pacific barreleye fish shows off its highly sensitive, barrel-like eyes--topped by green, orblike lenses--in a picture released today but taken in 2004.

The fish, discovered alive in the deep water off California's central coast by the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute (MBARI), is the first specimen of its kind to be found with its soft transparent dome intact.

The 6-inch (15-centimeter) barreleye (Macropinna microstoma) had been known since 1939--but only from mangled specimens dragged to the surface by nets.

......

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