This is the story about a society that falls and which, throughout its fall repeats to itself in order to reassure itself: "So far so good. So far so good. So far so good."How you fall doesn't matter. It's how you land!

m@rt1n

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"The team has come along slow but fast."
- Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager

"I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5."
- Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"Football players win football games."......

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Stand on toilet, get high on pot.
Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town.
A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.

Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door..
Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.
He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Man who eat prunes get good run for money.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.
43% of all statistics are worthless.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
You can lead a fool......

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. 

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. 

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. 

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. 

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. 

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. 

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. 

I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!! 

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. 

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. 

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? 

Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge 

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. 

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.......

Android was built from the ground-up to enable developers to create compelling mobile applications that take full advantage of all a handset has to offer. It was built to be truly open. For example, an application can call upon any of the phone's core functionality such as making calls, sending text messages, or using the camera, allowing developers to create richer and more cohesive experiences for users. Android is built on the open Linux Kernel. Furthermore, it utilizes a custom virtual machine that was designed to optimize memory and hardware resources in a mobile environment. Android is open source; it can be liberally extended to incorporate new cutting edge technologies as they emerge. The platform will continue to evolve as the developer community works together to build innovative mobile applications.

All applications are created equal

Android does not differentiate between the phone's core applications and third-party applications. They can all be built to have equal access to a phone's capabilities providing users with a broad spectrum of applications and services. With devices built on the Android Platform, users are able to fully tailor the phone to their interests. They can swap out the phone's homescreen, the style of the dialer, or any of the applications. They can even instruct their phones to use their favorite photo viewing application to handle the viewing of all photos.

Breaking down application boundaries

Android breaks down the barriers to building new and innovative applications. For example, a developer can combine information from the web with data on an individual's mobile phone -- such as the user's contacts, calendar, or geographic location -- to provide a more relevant user experience. With Android, a developer can build an application that enables users to view the location of their friends and be alerted when they are in the vicinity giving them a chance to connect.

Fast & easy application development

Android provides access......

The TV series The Sopranos suggests sometimes that the only difference between big business and organized crime is the mob's willingness to use murder to accomplish its ends "Capitalism is organized crime." the thought keeps coming back to me. Capitalism is a way of organizing crime in such a way that it can masquerade as something altogether different.

But at bottom, they are the same. To understand this is to see that capitalism cannot be reformed; it has to be transformed into something else.

If we are going to see the crime hiding in capitalism, we have to have a clear idea of what crime is. What would a criminal moral philosophy look like? Listen to Norman Bucklew, serving a life-sentence for murder and armed robbery in Leavenworth:

I'm a thief. I don't think robbing a bank is wrong. If I want to take the money in a bank, then I'm going to take it, and if you catch me and put me in prison, I'm not going to sniffle about being in the pen. But don't try to tell me what I did was wrong?

I don't respect the law because laws are for people who are weak and need them. If someone comes into my house and takes something, I'm not going to call a cop. I'm going to deal with it, and if I'm not man enough to get it back, then that guy has a right to take whatever he wants because I don't really deserve to own it. That's how society should be. If justice needs to be applied, I will apply it, and the reason that I have a right to apply it is because I have the power to do it. Having the power gives me permission.? As a child I was taught not to be a stool pigeon. Don't tattle on other kids. I was taught if someone hits you, you hit them back, and if they even think about hitting you again, you make them never want to see you again..? I might die in prison, but I'm not going to become an upstanding member of your society, because in order to that I would have to become a stool pigeon and always run to the cops, a coward......

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. 

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. 

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! 

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. 

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. 

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. 

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted! 

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.' 

Men are like bank accounts.

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come. 

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? 

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

many thanks for reading the shit i post hope you enjoy cheers from NL

ganja smoking sucka

"Gomorra" is an inside look at Italy's modern-day crime families a contemporary Neapolitan mob drama that exposes Italy's criminal underbelly by telling five stories of individuals who think they can make their own compact with Camorra, the area's Mafia.

Brutal and unrelenting, this documentary-style expose of the Camorra -- the Naples equivalent of the Sicilian mafia -- burns away all hints of Hollywood glamour and leaves in its place a depressingly grim portrayal of entrenched corruption as not just merely endemic to Italian (and international) business and culture, but perhaps even essential as a wheel-greasing mechanism. Director Matteo Garrone -- working from a nonfiction book by journalist Roberto Saviano that garnered the writer death threats from the Camorra -- unsentimentally throws us into five different stories of the murderous shadow the organization casts over the lives of ordinary people, from youngsters who want in because, ironically, they’ve bought into the Scarface sheen to honest businessfolk who cannot escape the Camorra’s grasp, and spares us none of the violence, greed, recklessness, or soullessness of these people for whom “criminal” seems too kind a term. Italy’s official submission to the Best Foreign Language Film category at the most recent Academy Awards and winner of the Grand Prize at Cannes in 2008, this is a film for only the most passionate of film fans. There is nothing redemptive here, nothing uplifting or hopeful, and it will try the indulgence of even the most generous seeker of stories with its refusal to pander to our instinct for satisfying narrative. It’s not that there aren’t rewards here, but they are cold and bleak.

Great films change the way we think about cinema. A masterpiece can alter our perception of life. Matteo Garrone’s startling film, Gomorrah, about the criminal underworld in Naples, is one of these rare movies.......

The uncrowned king of post-war Italian politics, Giulio Andreotti, might be the subject of Paolo Sorrentino’s nominal biopic Il divo, but it is as an incisive portrait of Italian politics in general that it impresses. Unlike Stephen Frears’ The Queen, in which an icon of power became human through solid acting and a strong screenplay, Andreotti, a seven-time Prime Minister and senator for life, remains an impenetrable enigma in Sorrentino’s film, hiding, like he does in real life, behind a barrage of funnily ironic remarks and a smoke screen carefully orchestrated by himself and his kowtowing entourage. The first 30 minutes of the film are pure filmmaking genius but the remaining 70 minutes might prove rather abstract for those unfamiliar with Italian politics, though as an allegory of how the Italian political machine works in general it is still as close to reality as any film is likely to get. The film is one the Competition entries at the 2008 Cannes Film Festival.