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1 LAKH MEIN AUR KITNA MILEGA!

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Call Letter From Company

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After Clearing The Aptitude Test...

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Cleared The Interview Too...

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Gotta Go For Training

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Training Days..

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Time To Depart..

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Allocated To Projects..

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Work..Work..Work..

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More Work

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Yeah Got Promotion...Now A Project Manager

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it''''s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

  HOW A GIRLS MIND WORKS

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Proof One

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Proof Two

Proof Three

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 Proof Four

1) I hated sleep.


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2) I had enjoyed my life enough.


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3) I couldn't live without tension.


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4) I wanted to pay for my sins.


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5) I believed in the Bhagwad Geeta principle : Do work,Don't care about results.


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6) Everything in life has a reason; I wanted to prove it wrong.


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7) I wanted to take revenge on myself .


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                    Please Tell your Reasons By Your Comments And Please Vote......

ORIGINAL POST:I have to share these “funniest analogies” with you. They came in an e-mail from my sister. She got them from a cousin, who got them from a friend, who got them from… so they are circulating around. My apologies if you have already seen them.

The e-mail says they are taken from actual high school essays and collected by English teachers across the country for their own amusement. Some of these kids may have bright futures as humor writers. What do you think?

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

                           Please Leave a Comment After reading ........................

In this post, I want to set you a challenge with the potential to launch your blog into the stratosphere.

Make the next post you write your most popular post ever.

The following ten tips form my key advice for tackling this task. I used all of them when hitting the Digg front page for the first time. There’s no blueprint you can follow to write an incredibly popular post, but you won’t have a chance unless you try. I’m confident these tips will give you a good shot at success.

1. Time is more important than talent. Work on something for eight hours and you can bet it will be good. You don’t need to spend that long, however (though that’s how long it took me to craft the first post I wrote that hit the Digg front page). More time means you can refine, format and fill your post with plenty of value. Take the time to really craft your content. It will show in the finished product.

2. Use your best idea. A post will never become wildly popular unless it fulfills a need, and does so emphatically. What’s something your niche wants but hasn’t got yet? Can you assemble a whole lot of really awesome (targeted) resources in one place? The more your posts helps people, the better it will do.

3. Use formatting to your advantage. These days, social media is key when it comes to launching your posts into the stratosphere. Social media users are notoriously spoiled for choice, however. Use formatting to emphasize the best aspects of your post. Hone in on your funniest lines, your most profound bits of advice, your best resources. Make them stand out.

4. Brainstorm headlines. There are probably one or two bloggers who’ve completely mastered the art of writing headlines for social media (you’ll know who they are). The rest of us haven’t been blessed with such skills. When you see a great headline, chances are it’s option #12 of a dozen choices. Few of us can think of a great headline straight away. Spend ten minutes brainstorming and you’re bound to stumble across something that works. A weak headline will cripple your post’s chances of success. It’s essential that you put a lot of work into getting it right.

5. Invest plenty of value in your post. Ever bookmarked or voted for something without completely reading it? We’ve all done it. It’s because of the ‘Wow’ factor — the presence of enough promised value in one place gets the reader enthusiastic about the post straight away. Instead of 5 tips, why not share 50? Instead of 9 resources, why not 40 or more?

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If your post looks good, it will draw readers in. Take the time to add images, thumbnails and formatting to what you create. Make your post a visual feast. With so much web content presented in a bland way, your post is guaranteed to stand out.

8. Tell them what you’re going to tell them. Readers will skip your waffly introduction. You can say the same in less words, particularly when you’re writing for an impatient reader: someone who wants to get straight into your tips/resources/opinions. Use your introduction to highlight why the reader should stick with your post. There’s a reason my post introductions mainly consist of: “In this post, I’m going to do this, this and that.” It’s what people really want to know: what am I getting in exchange for my attention?

9. Send messages with links. The best way to get a blogger to investigate your blog is by linking to them. We’ve got a natural desire to know what’s being said about us. If your post becomes really popular, each link inside it should send enough traffic outwards to be worth investigating. Be generous with your outbound links when writing your most popular post. It gives other bloggers an incentive to link to you, because it’s ultimately more promotion for them.

10. Utilize your network. If you want people to Digg, Stumble or Reddit your post, there’s no reason why you need to sit back with fingers crossed and hope it happens. Ask them. Your loyal readers like you. You entertain them, or teach them, or help them. If voting is a simple matter of clicking a link they’ll be more than happy to do so. Ask for votes in your post and email readers and social media influencers. In most cases you will need to get the snowball rolling. After that, others will do most of the work for you.

Bonus tip:

11. Examine what worked before. Study your most popular posts so far. What’s common about them? Why did they work? What needs did they address? In creating your most popular post, it’s important to learn by example and build on what has worked for your blog in the past. Another good idea is to analyze the most popular posts on other blogs in your niche. Why did they work? What’s remarkable about them? You can transfer those qualities over into what you write.

I want to point out the most ridiculous work sayings or cliches that really get on my nerves. It's as if taking something simple and phrasing it in an idiotic and often nonsensical way has become a key part of fitting into corporate culture. I say NO. Let's take a look at my favorite 15 of these gems...

15) Best Shored – as in, we're going to have this project "best shored." Ouch. Talk about euphemisms. This isn't even proper English AND it's insulting and foreboding all at the same time.

14) Too Many Indians, Not Enough Chiefs -- I'm amazed that in our politically correct world, this phrase seems to linger on. And in reality, it's usually the other way around-- there are far too many middle managers trying to prove that their jobs have some meaning and impact and not enough people actually doing work.

13) Run it up the Flagpole and see if someone salutes it -- Wow. This is guilty of so many things, but most importantly of trying to tie poetic imagery and patriotism into a business decision.

12 ) Evolutionary not Revolutionary -- we get it, you're talking about incremental change. But the fact that this rhymes does not merit that ridiculously smug look you get after you say it.

11) Can't Change a Leopard's Spots-- Are you saying that some things are permanent? Wow, great observation! You're so clever!

10) Do you have Enough Bandwidth? – The answer to this is always supposed to be yes but in reality is no. Why bother asking it? And does it make sense to use a networking metaphor to discuss the 45 year old woman in accounting's availability?

9) Let's not Fight the Tide -- this is humorous because the person that says it generally would stand no chance of fighting anything but a twinkie wrapper. You know what I mean, too.

8) Let's Not Go Into "Solution Mode" Yet – Immediate translation: I have no plan. Secondary comment: I didn't realize that you had to enter a particular state of mind to solve a problem. Shouldn't companies always be in "solution mode"?

7) Keep the Train on the Tracks -- this essentially says nothing. Trains are at their very foundation of design meant to stay on tracks. A derailment is a one-in-a-million accident, not something you have to actively work against. Yet this is said as if it's an everyday occurrence.

6) Sing from the Same Hymn Book -- not only is this offensive to people who don't practice organized relgion, but anyone that has sung from a hymn book knows that half the people are frantically trying to find what verse they're on while the ones that are singing are butchering the song. By the time the first half catches on to where they are, everyone else is at "amen."

5) Work to a Program -- as opposed to working haphazardly? "Hey boss, I want to work as randomly as possibly, OK?"

4) Tighten our Belt -- belts go around the middle... meaning we're going to squeeze the people who actually do the work, and leave the top alone.

3) Give 150% -- you are aware that this is actually an impossible task, yes? Then why do you say this at practically every meeting?

2) Peel Back the Onion – This is an insanely odd reference, as I can pretty much guarantee most people don't peel back onions ever, yet for some reason that's become a basic part of their job description.

And the #1 worst work saying:


1) Come to Jesus Meeting -- With one phrase, you have taken a simple concept of a group discussion and managed to make both Christians and non-Christians feel uncomfortable. That right there, is 100% of the people, and is worthy of recognition.

Simply, the game involves adding a single word to the list that is related to the previous one. Post the first word that pops into your mind when you read the previous listed word.

By way of example, a game might start off with: cat. Then, the next person might add cat, dog. And after a few more rounds, we might get cat, dog, pet, animal, forest, tree, and so on….. …

Avoid repeating words, and keep the posts as tasteful as possible so that EP won't require the post to become an adult community because we want everyone to be able to play please.

So the game is on and the first word is "Coffee"…. Next?