Sorry I haven't  been  answering on your messages, I've been traveling. Been in Spain for few days. Barcelona is really beautiful, so if you have a chance, visit it, you won't regret it.

Thanks for all the lovely pictures you left on my blog.

Owner: „Well, you can take my room, and I’ll sleep here on this chair. It’ll be 10$“

She gives him 10$ and goes to the room. Ten minutes later, car stopped in front of the motel, and 4 monks got in.

Monks: „Do you have a spare room?“

Owner: „I just rented the last one to some girl“

Monks: „Well, we are Gods men, we’ll make some agreement with the girl“

Owner: „Ok. If she lets you, room will cost you 10$ each“

They left to the room. After five minutes, 4 gangsters entered the motel. Owner sent them to the same room. The moment they got into room, a cowboy came into the motel: his skin perfectly tanned, with perfectly formed musles. He asks for the room, and owner sent him to the same room.

Next morning, gangsters got up first. They had black circles under their eyes, like they had no sleep at......

Copy this to google main window following sentence.

Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything 

Look at the first result to the search. Enjoy!

>> Well, you see,

I was reading my newspapers.There was an article about some children, one boy in the age of 10 that was just 50 cm high and his brother, 19 years old, who is only 60 cm high.

So, I was just saying to my wife how I feel sorry for those childen, and then she said to me:

“You know, they are pigments”

“You mean Pygmy. Pigment is what gives our skin its color”

“Isn’t the pygmy kind of paper Romans used to write on?”

“No, that parchment”

“But, isn’t the parchment a part of a movie?”

“No, that fragment”

So, I got tired and went to living room to read my papers there.After a while, my wife comes in the room, reading some book aloud.

“greengrocer lady went out on her terrace, where she met pimp Lui...”

I asked her: “what......

"This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean up.
Your stuff is lying on the floor,
and if we don't do laundry right now
you'll have no clothes to wear."

What a Man Hears:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES.

 *********************************************************

When man chooses woman, he looks for 3 things:

1. she must be pretty

2. she must have big breasts

3. she must be stupid

When woman chooses her man, she looks for 2 things:

1. He must be rich

2. He must think she's stupid, because she has big breasts and she's pretty  

You know, you’re watching TV and you hear: buy “G….” coffee, it’s great, buy “G….” , buy “G….”. So I come into the store to buy bread and milk…and I buy that bloody coffee.

But I wonder, how strong they can affect us to feel aversion for the product.

One company in my country made really, really, really shovanistic commercial for their beer. As a result, women protested on official site, on forums and some even stoped drinking that kind of beer.

I avoided one type of ice-cream for a year or so, for they paid girls on the beach to wear swimsuit, with label “lick carefully” on breast or bum. It was just too repulsive to me.

Maybe this......

Second man saw that, and started praying to God. He prayed for 3 hours. God heard his prayers and gave man boat, to cross the river. So he did.

Third man saw that praying worked for other two men, so he started praying, too. He prayed for 5 hours. God heard his prayers and turned man into a woman, and she crossed over the bridge to the other side. 

When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.

Corollary - Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

Agnes Allen's Law

Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

Allen's Axiom

When all else fails, follow instructions.

Alligator Principle

When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.

Avian Law

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

Law of Banks

The other line always moves faster. In order to get a loan you must first prove that you don't need it.

Bartz's Law of Hokey Horsepuckery

The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.

Beifeld's Principle

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by

pyramidal progression when......

I'm absolutely crazy for Sting and his lyrics. They are (mostly) very romantic. Some are really deep. I usually don't fall for that romantic things, but his things are really good. Here is one somewhat special:

"Fortress Around Your Heart"
  (Dream Of The Blue Turtles Album)

Under the ruins of a walled city
Crumbling towers and beams of yellow light
No flags of truce, no cries of pity
The siege guns had been pounding all through the night
It took a day to build the city
We walked through its streets in the
As I returned across the lands I'd known
I recognized the fields where I'd once played
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I'd laid

And if I built this fortress around your heart
Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire
Then let me build a bridge
For I cannot fill the chasm
And let me set the battlements on fire

Then I went off to fight some battle
That I'd invented......

A fairy is a spirit (supernatural being) found in the legends, folklore, and mythology of many cultures. They are generally humanoid in form, though of a higher, spiritual nature and so possessed of preternatural abilities.

They are often regarded as aloof, ephemeral, mercurial, and whimsical, among other qualities that place them outside of a human scope and have a tendency to make them associated or confused with other mythological creatures.

In Polish mythology, the Wila (Wi?a) are reputed in Poland and Lithuania to be the shape-shifting souls of the dead that were believed to visit the homes of their families. Peasants......

PET MINUTA- bi?e odlicno ako se pojavi ili bude spremna za 20. Racunajte ipak da to znaci pola sata.

NISTA- koje crno nista. Znaci svasta i ko zna sta sve ne. Ona tacno zna na koje sve se to nista odnosi. Budite spremni da je to rec koja je obicno uvod u svadju.

SAMO NAPRED (pri tom su joj obrve skupljene)- porucuje vam da radite sta hocete, a da je njoj sasvim svejedno. Ali, treba da znate da bi u ovom slucaju ona mnogo vise volela da vi pogodite šta ona zeli da uradite i da joj nije svejedno.

GLASAN UZDAH- ispusta se u posebno dramaticnim sutuacijama kada ona postaje uverena da razgovara sa potpunim idiotom. I kada pocinje da se pita zasto sa tako bezveznim likom uopste gubi svoje dragoceno vreme.Da znate da sve ovo......

Though I'm not all that crazy about metal, I must admit I really like their music.

They have good lyrics and good guitar solos. Their music is quite melodical. When you listen to them, you don't have that terrible feeling like someone is torturing cats or breaking kettles in the kitchen. On concert they radiate with energy.

The imbecile

Bastard simpleton

Blank stare ignorant

Pauper of the mind, body and soul

Slave bought ignorance

Graves dug diligent

Who the fuck are you digging them for?

Die slow degenerate

Your last chance came and went

Bury your head in the sand

Wait for the high tide

Cry for embrace

Patience swept under the wave

Washed up and frail like a stray dog

Muzzled and chained

Sister scapegoat......

In the small atoll of Mururoa
There are many cases of leukemia
As an effect of the threat
Of the frenches' nuclear tests

Mr Chirac said we must test anew
I don't subscribe to this point of view
It would be such an ignorant thing to do
If the french test their weapons too

How can I save my holidays
From being spoiled by radiation waves
There are so many carcinogenes
Hacking all of my precious genes

We share the same biology
Though I have a strange anatomy
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the frenches stop their testings too

Sailors believed that sharks know when someone is going to die. They thought that she will follow the ship if something bad is about to happen.

Sailor would never shoot sea-gull. They believed that sea-gull carried soul of dead sailor.

It's bad luck to start sailing (that is, to leave the harbor) on the friday, because it's believed that Jesus had been crucified on friday.

Man of the Sea rarely knew how to swim. They believed that, if sea could have a taste of them, it would chase them down until it finds and kills them.

Nurse: "Married?"

Man: "No. Car accident".

What's love?

- When you find out that your girlfriend is cheating on you and you don't won't to tell her that you know, 'cause you don't want to hurt her

- When you love cockroaches just because they live in her apartmant

How can you tell that your marriage is over? Your wife has made bullet of the wedding ring.

- If you want to keep a secret, tell it to a lier. Even if he says it to someone else, they won't believe'im.

- "I am antiquarian"

"Yes, I know. I saw your wife"

"I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."

"The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility."

"Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing."

"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."

"The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking."

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."

 ......

George Moore