The Chemical of Life

From Geeky to Creepy

muhaimmean — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 01:38:03 GMT

Yuwie SCAM?

muhaimmean — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 02:12:55 GMT

Answers to Your Questions about Yuwie~

muhaimmean — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 01:46:23 GMT

Q: What is Yuwie? I have heard it is a social networking site but what does that mean exactly?
A: Remember just a few short years ago, MySpace became so popular with teenagers? And it still is today! Much like MySpace, Yuwie is a site where people invite their friends, share pictures, blogs and exchange comments and messages...but the big difference is that Yuwie is the first social networking site to PAY it's users.

Q: This is what I have heard, but how does it work?
A: Yuwie pays its users for page views. A page view can be visiting a friend's site, commenting on their blog, or sending them a message. The beauty part is, when you invite friends and they sign up, you are also paid for their views as well. This works 10 levels deep, so your friends invite friends...and so on and you are paid all the way down 10 levels.

Q: I have read that Yuwie is a scam, that you really only make pennies a month. Is this true?
A: It can take a few months, or even a year to build your Yuwie account.......

Yuwie.... Yupps.. Something That Really Nice

muhaimmean — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 01:36:35 GMT

Welcome To World of Pay To Be Friend

Funny, Stupid, and Banned Commercials part 2

muhaimmean — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 09:54:18 GMT

Funny, Stupid, and Banned Commercials part 1

muhaimmean — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 09:43:58 GMT

MAXIS FUNNY COMMERCIAL

muhaimmean — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 09:41:03 GMT

How to Be Creative in Advertising?

muhaimmean — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 09:25:37 GMT

The 3 Runaways

muhaimmean — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 09:56:25 GMT

There were three boys. one named zip, one named willy and one named pee. they ran away from school but they were chased by the headteacher so zip hid on top of a wardrobe, willy hid inside it and pee stood next to it. soon enough, the headteacher saw the cupboard and at that moment it was break time so all the kids were coming out of class. the headteacher was unaware of this and shouted ZIP DOWN! WILLY OUT! PEE IN THE CORNER!

Cowboy and the Indians

muhaimmean — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 09:53:10 GMT

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse."
The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off.
Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing."
The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again."
The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horses ear, then slaps it on the ass.
Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked......

3 Proud Parents

muhaimmean — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 09:44:20 GMT

3 men were gathering one day to talk about how successful there sons were doing.

The first man says, "My son has been doing so successful as a lawyer he got a mansion and shares it with his friend."

The second mans says, "My son has been so successful as a doctor that he bought a converatable and a private jet for his friend."

The third man says, "Well, my son hasn't been so "successful". In fact, I just learned he was gay and I've accepted that fact. I guess he must be doing good though because he lives in a mansion with his friend and owns a private jet and a convertable."

Again, It’s The Dog’s Fault, I Swear!

muhaimmean — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:54:43 GMT

A young man has a great date planned with a hot chick, unfortunately he’s also got a bad case of gas. Upon arriving at the girl’s house to pick her up, he meets the parents and waits for her in the living room while she finishes getting ready.

At this point his stomach is turning and he’s doing the best he can to hold his gas. This is some serious stuff too, beer and beef burrito farts - the stuff dreams are made of. Luckily, just before he was about to explode Spot, the family dog, jumps on his lap as he sits on the couch. He figures it’s safe to let out alittle bit of the pressure and and if anyone notices they’ll think that the dog did it.

He farts, and the woman yells, “Spot, get down from there.” The guy thinks to himself, “Thank God! They think the dog did it.” Seizing the opportunity, he lets out another fart and the woman, again, yells for the dog to get......

Game of Intelligence

muhaimmean — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:47:50 GMT

A blonde chick found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Bored, the lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence (lawyers like easy prey). Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.

The blonde then asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”

The lawyer looked puzzled. He spent nearly an hour, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse......

Catholic Girls

muhaimmean — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:42:38 GMT

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, ” Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies, “Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.” St. Peter says, ” Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.”

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, “Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?” The girl is a little reluctant but replies, “Well, once I fondled and stroked one.” St. Peter says, ” Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.”

All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, “Reeva, What seems to be the rush?” The girl replies,......

Stuter

muhaimmean — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:37:47 GMT

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a dept. store and asks -
"W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"

The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"
Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him.

The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?" And the clerk just seems to ignore him.
Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.

The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?"

The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"

Make me an Uncle

muhaimmean — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:33:04 GMT

Stan was seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barged in the room holding their newborn baby.

"Stop! You can't do this!" exclaimed the brother.

"And why not?" asked Stan. "Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday like my wife and I have here?"

Stan said nothing.

The brother grew impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle."

Stan couldn't take it anymore. He gave his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asked his brother, "You're SURE you want a nephew?"

"Yes," the brother replied. "It would be an honor!"

"Well congratulations, you're holding him!"

Lips and Toilet

muhaimmean — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:28:11 GMT

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria,
BC recently was faced with a unique problem.

A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the......

newlywed couple

muhaimmean — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:23:36 GMT

A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.

"Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.

"Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"

So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?"

"No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.

When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"

"No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."

Sleeping in Bathtub

muhaimmean — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:41:04 GMT

Humor 100%

muhaimmean — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:36:44 GMT

Check It for Yourself

muhaimmean — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:18:34 GMT

Teddy Bears

muhaimmean — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:13:13 GMT

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.

They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.

Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.

After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

The woman says, "You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf."

Your Dog May Upset You

muhaimmean — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:10:17 GMT

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop.

"Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender.

"Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!"

"Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house." So the bartender gives him another triple scotch and again he gulps it down. "If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?"

"I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!"

"Good for you! You said the right thing. So what did you say to your best friend?"

"Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said... ...BAD DOG!"

The Rude Doctor

muhaimmean — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:04:41 GMT

Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife's been in an accident.

They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case and they page the doctor.

Doc comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.
"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks.
"Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?"

The doctor sits next to him and says, "Not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine."
"Oh my God" says Mr. Jones, "what will be her prognosis?"

"Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her."
Mr. Jones begins to sob.

"And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia."
Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.

"Then, of course," the doctor continued,......

TEN HUSBANDS

muhaimmean — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:00:17 GMT

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin.

What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his......

Pontential Karate Talent

muhaimmean — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 13:17:20 GMT

killer got her!

muhaimmean — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 13:14:13 GMT

A police detective was investigating a homicide. As he questioned the on-scene officer, he learned the body was that of a young woman. The body was found with a bowl over her head and a spoon stuck in her back.

The on-scene officer asked what the detective thought had happened to the woman.

The detective responded, "I think it's obvious. A cereal killer got her!"

Two Scottish nuns

muhaimmean — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 13:12:41 GMT

Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it.

"Two dogs, please," said one.

The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs.'

The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"

Humor

muhaimmean — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 13:10:00 GMT

Vincent Van Gogh

muhaimmean — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 13:07:24 GMT

Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the lessor known ones...

The grandfather who moved to Yugoslavia ........ U. Gogh

The brother who bleached all his clothes white .. Hue Gogh

The sister who wore a mini skirt to dance in bars ... Go Gogh

The real obnoxious brother .......... Please Gogh

The brother who ate prunes ............ Gotta Gogh

The uncle who worked at a convenience store ....... Stop N Gogh

His dizzy aunt ............. Verti Gogh

The cousin that moved to Illinois ......... Chicah Gogh

His magician uncle .............. Wherediddy Gogh

The cousin who lived in Mexico .......... Amee Gogh

Another cousin who lived in Mexico ......... Green Gogh

Nephew that drove a stage coach .......... Wells Far Gogh

Aunt who was a good dancer .............. Tan Gogh