Boxoffrogs

So lets cut the crap about reporting that the United States of America something it is not. America is a Republic.

R-E-P-U-B-L-I-C.

Now if you don’t have a clue what that means. Here is the just of it. The American Presidential Vote does not count as an equal across the States. Since we live in a Representative Republic the American Presidential Vote only counts in which direction a citizen’s state of residence decides to align its select set of votes. The country has retained, through bloodshed, the rights of the individual states that make up the Republic. Now this is an all or nothing deal for the most part when it comes to a vote for President. If a citizen’s state of residence leans one way or the other (EVEN BY THE SMALLEST OF MARGINS) all the votes will pile up for the winning candidate FOR that specific state.

It does matter in which state a citizen resides for this scenario to play out. If a citizen is in one of those central northern rectangle states, the Presidential Vote has very little bearing on anything nationally but can be more apt to sway the state one way or another by a citizen’s independent ballot. If a citizen is voting in a very populated state, proportionally their vote also has little bearing; however the state as a whole can sway an election more so than the less populated rectangles aforementioned. To put it bluntly; if a citizen is in a state full of morons they have a good chance of helping to elect a complete dumb ass. Just look what happened in ’04 when not enough hippies voted!

So here is the run down if it matter’s to you or not.

The bottom line is if a U.S. Citizen has no gonads then they stay out of the polls and don’t vote! They especially don’t have anything to bitch about for the next 4 years because their slack ass let it slide. I voted last time, like every time so I have the unalienable right to bitch…and I am.

During the last election I had the misfortune to vote by absentee ballot. My vote also cost me about $100 bucks (USD). You thought voting was free? Let me tell you how I had to exercise my right to bitch.

I was in the fabulous blustering metropolis of Ploiesti, Romania which lies in Eastern Europe bordering the western shore of the Black Sea during the last election in 2004. The city of Ploiesti is the first major city which lies due north of the capital of Bucharest. For all you history buffs, Ploiesti had the bulk of the oil refineries the Nazis used to power their war machine. It still has operational refineries by the way.

The Allies bombed the hell out of it during the last World War (not to be confused with the present or any future World War), but anyhow there I was.

I informed my state of residence polling place in writing that I would require an absentee ballot. This “service” and paperwork was provided by the Romanian U.S. Embassy, American Citizens Services in Bucharest. They are not on my Christmas card list, but that is a story for another day.
http://bucharest.usembassy.gov/Embassy/index.html

Now I set this absentee ballot request in motion in August 2004, so I figured this would have allowed plenty of time for the paperwork to arrive long before the election (which is the first Tuesday in November for those of you who may not be aware). I had a few things going against me for this scenario to pan out. The main issue was my state of residence polling location which (at that time) was in Florence, South Carolina. Flotown (as it is known in some local circles) is not exactly a bastion of knowledge and the portion of the population which happens not to be inbred certainly, for the most part, didn’t make it far outside the confines of the county with the almost exclusive exception of myself (and a few of my buddies…wink…you know who you are!). Just to ebb the controversy a bit, I will concede that there are a few good eggs still in Flotown, but I digress.

Florence South Carolina is at the point on Interstate 95 that you turn left to get to Myrtle Beach. I say left because only Yankees, misled Midwesterners, and Canadian Hippies think that is a tourist destination. It is also the terminus or start of Interstate 20 depending on how you look at it. Other than that, there is church (primary flavor being Baptist), Bar-B-Que (vinegar style), and boredom (large doses thereof broken up by beer, pot, and fishing).

So I am hanging tuff in the eastern euro hood in my lovely communist style bloc when I realize it is a month till election and I still haven’t gotten my absentee ballot from the banjo playing yokels at the “local” election office. I call the embassy and they confirm that my request for the ballot was sent out and that I would have to contact my polling location in the states to figure out what happened…at great expense to myself I add. So I call up Florence SC, USA from Ploiesti, RO and get this amazing representative from the Florence South Carolina Voter Registration & Election Commission.

She states to me that she DID have an application for my absentee ballot HOWEVER since there was NO ZIP CODE with my address then they could not mail it.

Now I go back to morons and voting and the right to bitch. There are a few obvious problems with the zip code theory. The most obvious is the term “zip code”. Now a zip code is a unique identifier used by the United States Postal Service to identify addresses in the United States. Since the United States Postal service would not be the one delivering my absentee ballot to my location in Romania, which obviously lays outside the United States, the need for a “zip code” (which is only valid for United States addresses) is really a moot point. It is an absentee ballot which is used by persons who, among other things, are out of the country. I asked her if there were any digits associated with the return address and she stated that there was. I then told her the amazing string of digits, which corresponded to my Romanian Postal Code (insert posta Romania pic) and she confirmed that these very same digits were attached to my request (attached by my own hand I may add).

Therefore I described the problem that now encompassed the gulf between us. She had my ballot and my address but yet failed to send it after she was timely notified for some stupid reason that only her third grade comprehension could understand. So I began my climb to the top of the ladder of the Florence South Carolina Voter Registration & Election Commission and finally reached the all knowing director. At this point it was decided to send my ballot via courier. The cost of this is no small pittance. For about $75 USD one can get something delivered to Romania from the States in about 10 days. What I didn’t understand was that for my vote to be counted I would have to spend the same to get it returned in time for the election. If only some ignorant person in Florence South Carolina would have sent me my stuff in a timely manner this whole thing could have been handled for pennies.

So this gets me to the point of voting. The guy I voted for turned out to be a complete disappointment and his Secretaries of State (yeah both Condi and Colin) caused me and my family direct and proximate harm. I also feel I have more than the right to complain about it because I helped these morons stay in office through my misguided Presidential vote. My right to vote cost on the last go around; the trips to and from Bucharest to Ploiesti, the calls from Ploiesti to Florence South Carolina USA, the fact that I had to pay a Romanian Notary about $10 USD to witness that it was me voting, and the $75 USD to return the ballot back to be counted in time.
The complete irony is there was no doubt in my mind that the state of South Carolina would go Republican (as it usually does) and the fact that I was voting the Republican ticket that year made no real difference because it is all about the electoral college and that we live in a REPUBLIC and not a democracy. However I retain the right to complain. So if more hippies would have set the bong down and voted for the tree hugger our country wouldn’t be in such a mess. Damn hippies let me down again. Oh yeah…I recon it is my fault that I spent $100 to vote for the present disappointment. However when I voice my opinion, let it be known it was earned. If you don’t vote then shut the f**k up. If you do vote, welcome to the club.

Now who I endorse is another story and for another day. Be passionate and be true and stand by your word.

** Article II of the U.S. Constitution does state:”… Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.
The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two Persons, of whom one at least shall not be an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed…”