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christara
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Country: UK
Constellation: Gemini

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joke,s that make ya go..........
Size: Large, Medium, Small Fri Jun 6, 08 09:14 AM | Category: All
19

Medical Joke

Need Samples
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"

"What did he say? What's he want?"

His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."

 

Bar Joke

A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

 

Sport Joke

10 things in golf that sound dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.

2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.

3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.

4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

6. Lift your head and spread your legs.

7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.

8. Just turn your back and drop it.

9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.

10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

N/A
Link: http://blog.bitcomet.com/christara/post_39921/ ©
Add to favorites | QuoteReport Reads (865) | Comments (29)

CommentsReload

Sara1970 (Sara) Fri Jun 6, 08 09:47 AM

G'day Chris grat post ...you made me laugh and it is soooo good to laugh.....

guess they better hold on to their balls...heeee

Take care

Always keep a dream in your heart!
Sara1970 (Sara) Fri Jun 6, 08 09:48 AM

Oh that should be great sorry...

Always keep a dream in your heart!
christara Fri Jun 6, 08 04:21 PM

thankyou for that vote and me too had a good laugh been great...just loving it....and i should of had that pic up there with the joke...ha ha ha

its funnier than mine...heeeee

all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

take care

laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me
abha Fri Jun 6, 08 10:05 AM

Nice 1 mate ....

u get a Vote


christara Fri Jun 6, 08 04:06 PM

cheers mate glad you had a laugh...hee hee

all the best wish,s to you .......

take care and thanks for the vote...

laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me
sv_iv (Svetlana) Fri Jun 6, 08 10:53 AM

nice jokes!

Have a nice weekend!

If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself
christara Fri Jun 6, 08 04:05 PM

hee hee thankyou i like the golf one made me laugh..LOL

you too have a nice weekend...

all the best wish,s to you.......

take care

laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me
dave195809 (south african dave) Fri Jun 6, 08 04:11 PM

hee hee cool good laugh now put a new one out as well to make all my friends smile have a jerry ladio and have a great weekend

To all the fantastic people on bitcomet love you all
christara Fri Jun 6, 08 04:29 PM

hey cheers mate for the vote an comments i,ll be over soon...hee hee

made me laugh too...

all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

take care

laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me
debsha Sat Jun 7, 08 06:00 AM

Good post bro...wouldn't want the first ones underwear though

Be well & happy
christara Sat Jun 7, 08 07:22 AM

yer pretty funny made me go.........

had a laugh over them....hee hee..

all the best wish,s to you and your family.......

take care

laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me
brianrob (littleb) Sat Jun 7, 08 07:20 AM

Hee, Hee!!! They all made me laugh mate the one about the guy in the bar really made me chuckle

LIVE FAST, DIE LAST!!!
christara Sat Jun 7, 08 07:30 AM

yer i guess thats a beautie...ha ha

glad i made ya giggle.....hee hee

all the best wish,s to you.......

take care

laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me
greta_garbage (gretagarbage) Sat Jun 7, 08 05:14 PM

Sick joke:

Two starving bums

These two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat.

He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs.

He says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?"

"Hell no!!!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!"

The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton.

A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat."

And just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush.

The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talkin'! It's been months since I had a WARM meal!!!"

"Yes, I like my coffee hot and strong … Like I like my women: hot and ..strong … with a spoon in them."
christara Sat Jun 7, 08 05:48 PM

orr my gosh that is so gross....i don,t think i,ll eat for a week...will i survive tho but i like food..can,t live with out my food right back in a bit just getting a biscuit...heee..

thanks for sharing that greta...cool.

i,ll let me nephews have that one for the playground..ha ha ha

all the best wish,s to my greta.....

take care

laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me
greta_garbage (gretagarbage) Sat Jun 7, 08 06:45 PM

A cop stops his police car when he sees a couple sitting on the curb. The chap is laying on his side with his trousers pulled down, the girl has her finger in his asshole, and she's reaming away with a vengeance.

The cop says, "What the hell is going on here?"

The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pounding down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke."

The cop says, "That's not gonna make him puke."

She says, "Yeah? Wait till I switch this finger to his mouth."

"Yes, I like my coffee hot and strong … Like I like my women: hot and ..strong … with a spoon in them."
christara Sat Jun 7, 08 07:36 PM

no way is that ever gonna be...that is beyond gross....ergh...

chocolate biscuit anyone...ha ha

all the best wish,s to my greta.......

take care

laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me
greta_garbage (gretagarbage) Sat Jun 7, 08 06:47 PM

not as gross, but i dont want u to starve. ill wait till after dinner to show u a real case of a living brain coverer in worms(a guy who had an ingrown hair infectd and wouldnt go to the doctor)

"Yes, I like my coffee hot and strong … Like I like my women: hot and ..strong … with a spoon in them."
christara Sat Jun 7, 08 07:41 PM

no way greta your just making starve....am i ever gonna eat again can i make it beyond a week...will there be owt left of me...hey no prob,s i guess i become one them super zero models....heee heee

all the best wish,s to my greta.......

take care

laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me
abood_jarrar (abood) Mon Jun 9, 08 07:55 AM

hahahah

very funny

got my vote for suse

take care

Be Palestinian or Die Trying
christara Mon Jun 9, 08 10:51 AM

heee hee yer cheers for the vote and comments...LOL..hee hee

glad it made ya laugh....heeeeee

all the best wish,s to you.......

take care

laters byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its just mad being mad-its just crazy being crazy-but its great just being me

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