Gazdoc's BLOG

This is interesting! And to paraphrase W.C. Fields,

I don't drink water, because fish shit in it..

------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

A very straight and honest girl is going to Kuala Lumpur before she left, her mother gave her some advice.


"Daughter, when you're in KL and if you're looking for a match there, you must take note of the following requirements Mother set for you. You must find a man that is 'faithful', not 'spendthrift' and must be a 'virgin'."


With this advise from her mother, the girl went to Town. After some months later, she came home to her mother's blessings to marry.

"Mother, I've met my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for a holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even though there were so many prettier girls around. Isn't that being faithful?".

Her mother nodded in agreement.


"Then, since the day was getting late in the night and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we stay the night at a hotel. He also......

ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.......

(**) Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any group of mammals that exist- especially fruit bats.

(**) Lions will have sex about 500 times with one mate. This is to
ensure fertilization.

(**) In Texas it is illegal to have sex with a fish, in Florida it is
illegal to get a fish drunk, and N. Carolina thought both laws were good so there it is illegal to have sex with a drunk fish.

(**) Dolphins and humans are the only known animals that have sex for pleasure.

(**) The bonobo monkeys use sex (and/or sexual favors) to placate
members of their social group instead of grooming. They are one of the few species of animals (humans being another) that have sex out of season and for fun.

(**) Sperm Whales are sexually mature at birth.

(**) In Argentina, it is rumored that eating cats is good for your
health and stimulates sexual potency.

(**) You can tell a turtle's sex......