I wasted thirty years of my life just as you describe. I'm 65 with boys 11 and 12 now and life is all for them. I wish I had those 30 year back to devote to something besides me. There are alomost seven billion people in the world and half of them are women!
Joe
http://www.rittenhouseii.com
http://joesfreedom.blogspot.com/