kuki's BLOG

SEXY ACTIONS FOR YOUR WIFE:

·         Kiss - No, not Keep It Simple, Stupid, but the action.  Kiss her.  Kiss her again.  Keep kissing her.  Most women would like more kissing than they get.  Kissing can really get a woman going, and it should not be seen as something to be done only at the beginning of sex.

·         Top down - Start with her face, and slowly work your way down her body.  Face, lips, breasts, inner thighs, and then where you want to be, her vagina and clitoris.

·         Be gentle - Her body is not as tough as yours.  Her breasts are sensitive, and her vulva has far more nerve endings that your penis has.  Start light and gradually increase speed and pressure.  If she's not giving you feedback, limit yourself to half of what you think would be right - then ask her about it after sex is over.  Too little is less of a problem than too much, and she's more likely to say "do it harder" than "do it softer".

·         Breasts are not toys - It's common for a woman to complain that her husband is too rough with her breasts, or that he is forever "grabbing" them.  Excessive fondling outside of sex may put her off any breast stimulation at any time.  Sudden grabbing is no fun - move slowly and give her a chance to register what is coming.  The nipples can be injured if you are too rough with them.  A woman who has nursed may have lost sensitivity in her nipples - this may mean she feels little unless you hurt her, or it may mean that she wants stronger stimulation.  Breasts change sensitivity significantly through her cycle - the same touch that is too much at one point is perfect or even too light at another time.  Her breasts may be too tender to be touched at all as she nears menstruation.  Some women don't enjoy breast stimulation, and she may "put up with" it because she knows you enjoy it.  That's fine, but if that's the case limit breast play when your goal is arousing her.

·         There's more down there than her clitoris - In the last few decades man have gone from not knowing where the clitoris is to assaulting it. Her entire vulva is sensitive to touch, and starting with the labia is far better than going straight to the clitoris.  Unless she's strongly aroused, prolonged stimulation of just the clitoris is more a problem than a pleasure, so move around some.

·         Play by play is not desired - Most women are not aroused by a play by play description of what is being done or how what is being done is effecting you.  However, most women like to hear that they are loved, that they are special, and so on.

·         The vaginal entrance is delicate - The vagina is pretty tough, and has few nerve ending, but the entrance can be easily roughed up.  If you are sending a finger in make sure the nail is well trimmed, be sure there is adequate lubrication, and go slow.  Most women don't get much out of vigorous vaginal stimulation - just add a bit of penetration to what you are doing to her vulva.

·         Oral - for her or for you? - Yes, oral sex is a good way to get her body going - but not if she is uptight about her body, how she smells, or has fears that oral sex is dirty, unnatural or sinful.  You may find her body getting more aroused while her mind is getting turned off. 

·         Time pressure kills her sexuality - She knows your ready - you don't have to say anything, your erection is communicating it loud and clear.  Let her know by both your words and your actions that she can have all the time she want to both "get ready" and to just enjoy.  If she indicates she's ready for intercourse don't immediately jump like you've been dying for the chance - give her a bit more foreplay and some good kissing before you move to enter her.

How do you know when she’s ready for sex?

1)      When her genitals become somewhat wet, this is a good signal that she’s ready for sex (but it’s not 100%). 

2)      Another signal that she is aroused is that her vulva becomes darker and swells significantly. It may feel almost like rubbing on a water balloon inside of another water balloon.

3)      The clitoris also changes. As she becomes very aroused the clitoris becomes very sensitive.  It swells at first and becomes very sensitive.  But, then the clitoris becomes a little smaller.  This is a good sign that she’s ready.

4)      Breathing is deeper, muscles become tense, her legs may open wider, and she may make small hip moments that push her pelvis against you. Her eyes will most likely close and or roll back in her head a bit  She may make moaning noises, and her hands may close or grasp.

How do I know when/if she climaxes? Some women leave no doubt, but others either climax without much sound or movement, or make about the same sounds and movements for several minutes prior to climax. The surest indication is contractions of the vagina, but these are not extreme and may be difficult to feel. Nipple erection at climax is common, but not universal, and nipples may erect prior to climax.  A sudden perspiration or a rash like flush on her neck, upper breast and in her cleavage are good signs of orgasm, but not all women do these things.  A fairly rapid drop in body tension is a good indication.

IMPORTANT:  Even if you have had your orgasm, don’t stop making love to her.  KEEP ON GOING UNTIL SHE HAS HER ORGASM TOO.  You may need to stimulate her clitoris by hand.  She can also have more than one orgasm and may enjoy that.  Let her rest for a couple minutes and then gently start again or ask her if she’s satisfied and happy. 

Here are some other things you can do to improve your wife's odds of reaching climax during "the main event".

• Foreplay - We hear it over and over - "I need more than five (or three, or two) minutes of foreplay.  Most women need a least twenty minutes of good foreplay, more than half of it genital, to have a good shot at climax during intercourse.
  
  
• Lubrication - If she's dry it hurts, and if she'd not wet enough it's not really comfortable.
  
  
• It's not friction - You climax because of the friction of your penis in her vagina - but that's doing just about nothing for her because she does not have the nerve endings to get anything out of it.  What gets her there is her clitoris, even during intercourse.  If she's properly aroused, any movement of any part of her vulva or vagina will cause clitoral stimulation.  It's like a full motion water bed - you can't move without moving everything else on the bed.  You give her the best stimulation when you are fully inserted, and short deep strokes will do far more for her than what feels best to you.
  
  
• Ladies first - If you want her to climax, you need to hold way back.  Don't try to pace her, you will get too close and lose it. The closer you are to climax, the more difficult it is to slow down.  Besides, the closer you are, the less able you are to focus on her.
  
  
• Feel her rhythm - It may be subtle, but if you pay attention you should be able to discern her rhythm of movement.  It may take a while for her to get going, and it will change as she progresses.  If you can figure it out, you can move in a way that accentuates what she is doing.  In this dance, it's best for her to lead!
  
  
• Look up to her - The best way for most women to climax during intercourse is to be on top.  This allows them to move as they desire, and provides a form of stimulation that is better for them.  As a bonus, the stimulation is less intense for you, which can significantly prolong your stay.
  
  
• Beyond the genitals - Once intercourse starts, most men are focused about 99.3% on their penis.  For women sex (and orgasm by the way) is much more full body (this is not theory, there are brain scans that support this).  That means that touching her body just about anywhere can help her to progress towards orgasm.  Her face and buttocks are especially good, and her breasts may be excellent. Where, how and how firmly she likes to be touched will probably change as her arousal progresses - learn her secrets and you can really give her a push in the right direction.
  
  
• Know when to stop - It's not an endurance contest, and she's not automatically going to climax if you can last a certain amount of time.  Continuing once she'd decided it's not going to happen is only going to add to her sense of failure, and will probably annoy her.  If she indicates it's time for you to go on without her, honor her request, and while you're at it, enjoy yourself.  If she won't communicate it's difficult - asking her if you should finish will likely pressure her.  Let her know sometime when you are not having sex that you will try to go till she either climaxes or tells you to do so.  If she won't communicate at all, do your best to try and discern where she is, and climax if you think she's had enough.
  
  
• Finish her quickly - Don't fall over and "rest" for more than a few seconds.  You've got her pretty worked up, and you need to finish her off as quickly and easily as you know how.
  
  
• No Monday Quarterbacking - "Maybe next time" is NOT good after talk.  She knows she did not climax during intercourse, and she really does not want to talk about it right now.

FINALLY, when sex is finished and both of you are satisfied, DO NOT GO TO SLEEP.  You may feel like it.  But, at this time it is very important for her to talk with you and to connect with you. Snuggle, caress, speak romantically to her, kiss her.  Give her an “after glow”. She will want to have sex much more often then!!