Teacher:
History is a very interesting subject. It tells you
about
what had happened in the past.
Student:
Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher:
Why?
Student:
There is no future in it.
............
......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
Teacher:
Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father
still have?
Ted:
$10.
Teacher:
You don't know maths.
Ted:
You don't know my father!
............
......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
Mother:
David, come here.
David:
Yes, mum?
Mother:
You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David:
But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother:
I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
............
......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
Father:
Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son:
On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father:
So?
Son:
On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 and on Wednesday she said 6+2=8. If she can't
make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
............
......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
A
mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV
in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then
complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter:
It's mummy!
Father:
How do you know?
Daughter:
She didn't say anything.
............
......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
Girl:
Do you love me?
Boy:
Yes Dear
Girl:
Would you die for me?
Boy:
No, mine is undying love
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--------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man:
How old is your father?
Boy:
As old as me
Man:
How can that be?
Boy:
He became a father only when I was born
------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --
Waiter:
I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer:
Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
------------
--------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher:
Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon:
No, teacher, it's the same dog!
------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --
Father:
Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son:
That's why I say she's no good!
------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher:
"Where were you born?"
Student:
" Singapore , Sir."
Teacher:
"Which part?"
Student:
"All of me, Sir."
------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A
teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference
between
'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.
"Ok,
answer, Joan" said the teacher.
"Unlawful'
is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal'
It
is a sick eagle."
------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher:
"How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah
Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher:
"Use your dad's then."
Ah
Kow: "No hair, Sir."
------------
--------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A
boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What
did u get?" asked his father.
"My
marks are under water," said the boy.
"What
do u mean 'under water'?"
"They
are all below 'C' level"
