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The Magic Dick
Size: Large, Medium, Small Wed Feb 20, 08 01:45 AM | Category: Jokes
3
A man is about to be sent to prison for 5 years and is currently out on bail. While out on bail, the man decides that since he's gonna be in the slammer, and he loves his girlfriend, he'll get her a little gift so that she will stay loyal to him and not go seeking another man.

The man wanders on down to the nearest adult toy store to buy his girlfriend a dildo.

Upon entering the store, he is greeted by the salesman "Hello, can I help you find something?"

The man says "Yes, I'm gonna be going away for awhile and I want to get my woman a dildo to keep herself busy in the meantime."

The sales man tells him "well, we have this large of selection of dildos in this case here, feel free to go through them and if you are interested in one, just let me know and I'll get it for you."

While going through the rather large selection of dildos, the man notices this magnificent looking box behind the clerk.

"What's in that box?" asks the man.

"Oh, you don't want that sir."

"No, what's in there, seriously!"

"Well, that is our most expensive and special dildo. I say you don't want it because it is very expensive." said the clerk.

"How much does it cost?"

"Well that dildo costs $900" replied the clerk.

"NINE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!?!?! That better be one special dildo for that much, what does it do?" The man is astonished.

"Well sir, this dildo is called 'The Magic Dick' and it automatically farks whatever hole you ask it to."

"How do you mean?" The man asks curiously.

"Let me show you." The clerk then orders, "Magic Dick pocket pussy!" The dildo jumps out of the box and immediately starts going to work on a "pocket pussy" sitting on the counter.

"THAT'S INCREDIBLE!!" gasps the man, still in astonishment. "How do you get it to stop?"

"You just tell it 'Magic Dick, enough of that'" As the salesman spoke these words, the dildo stopped what it was doing and returned magically to its box.

The man decides to buy this incredible toy, he is certain that his girlfriend will love this.

Later that evening, his last night out before his sentence is to start, the man sits down with his girlfriend to have a little "talk." He tells her that he is going to be gone for awhile and that he cares for her and wants her to be faithful. Then he tells her that he bought a little gift earlier and gives it to her. She opens it up and asks "You got me a dildo?"

"Not just any dildo honey, this is a 'Magic Dick' It will screw any hole you tell it to. Let me show you."

The man then commands "Magic Dick keyhole!" and the dildo jumps out of the box and starts farking the keyhole.

The woman can't help but laugh, and he is laughing along with her. Still laughing she says "That's amazing, but how do you get it to stop?"

Her boyfriend tells her "Simple enough, you just say 'Magic Dick, enough of that!'" And again, as he said these words the Magic Dick stopped doing what it was doing and returned to its box.

They slept together for the last time for a long time that night and the next day the man we sent off to jail. A week or so passed and the woman became curious about the use of this Magic Dick on herself. She got the box out, chuckled a little more.

But realizing how lonely she was she commanded "Magic Dick my pussy!!" The dildo jumped out of the box and was immediately farking her. She loved it, it was just the right size and just the right speed, it farked her uncontrolably. She had her first orgasm, but was enjoying it so much she let it keep going. She had another orgasm and laid there in intense pleasure. Yet another orgasm crept its way upon her.

Suddenly she realized, she didn't know the command to get it to stop! She began to shout: "MAGIC DICK, DOWN!" "MAGIC DICK, STOP!" "MAGIC DICK, NO MORE!" But no matter what she said it just kept farking her. She began freaking out admist even more orgasms. She didn't know who to call so she decided she was going to go to the Hospital Emergency Room.

The woman runs out to her car, starts it up, and is on the road to the hospital. This thing is still going non-stop and still causing her to derive all kinds of pleasure. She is SWIRVING ALL OVER THE PLACE. She's driving up on the sidewalk! Bumping into street signs! All around, having trouble paying much attention to the road.

Eventually a cop sees this insane woman driving and tails her, flashes his sirens/lights, and pulls her over. He walks up to the side of her car and can hear her moaning.

The cop asks "Ma'am, is there any reason why you are driving like such a crazed maniac this evening?"

She explained to him "My boyfriend got me this 'Magic Dick' that farks whatever you command it to, so I had it start doing me and I couldn't remember the words to get it to stop.

The cop looks at the woman with a look of non-belief on his face and sneers "Magic Dick My Ass!"
N/A
Link: http://blog.bitcomet.com/post/17458/ ©
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gazdoc Wed Feb 20, 08 03:57 AM

Gr8 joke Mojo

Ennnnnnnnjoy
Ichisanno (Michi) Wed Feb 20, 08 09:28 AM

Pretty funny and weird...

Wish I Had An Angel
monti_84 Wed Feb 20, 08 10:35 AM

Ohhhh, he′s fucked up!

"To define is to limit" Oscar Wilde
greta_garbage (gretagarbage) Sun Apr 20, 08 12:13 PM

"Yes, I like my coffee hot and strong … Like I like my women: hot and ..strong … with a spoon in them."

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