Svetlana's (sv_iv) Blog

The weight Loss Program

Did you hear about the heavy set guy who had tried every diet in the world in an attempt to loss weight?

He tried the Scarsdale diet, the Navy diet, Weight Watchers, and many more. None worked. Then one day, he was reading the Washington Post when he noticed a small ad that read: Loss Weight- Only $1.00 a pound - Call (202555-0238) The man decided to give it a try and called the number.

A voice on the other end asked, "How much weight do you want to lose?"

The man responded "Ten pounds."

The voice replied, "Very well, give me your credit card number and we will have a representative over to your house in the morning."

About 9am the next morning the man gets a knock on the door. There stood a beautiful redhead, completely naked except for a sign around her neck stating, "If you catch me you can have me."

 Well, the hefty fellow chased her upstairs, downstairs, over sofas, through the kitchen, all around the house. Finally, panting and wheezing like a dog, he did catch her.

When he was through enjoying himself, she said, "Quick, go into the bathroom and weigh yourself." He did just that and was amazed to find that he had lost ten pounds, right to the ounce!

That evening he called the number again.

The voice on the other end asking, "How much weight do you want to lose?" to which the somewhat-less-overweight man replied, "Twenty pounds."

"Very well," the voice on the phone told him, "Give me your credit card number and we will have a representative over to your house in the morning."

At about 8am the next morning the man received a knock on the door. When he opens the door he sees a beautiful blonde dressed only in track shoes and a sign around her neck saying, "If you catch me, you can have me."

The chase took a good while longer this time and the man nearly passed out, but finally he did catch her. When he was through she told him, "Quick, run to the bathroom and weigh yourself."

He ran to the bathroom and found he had lost another 20 pounds. "This is fantastic!" he thought to himself.

Later that evening he called the number again  and the voice at the other end asked, "How much weight do you want to lose?" "Fifty pounds!" the man exclaimed. "Fifty pounds? That's an awful lot of weight to lose at one time."

The man replied, "Listen buddy, here is my credit card number, you just have your representative over here in the morning!" and he hung up the phone.

About 6am the next morning the man gets out of bed, splashes on some cologne and gets all ready for the next representative.

At about 7am he gets a knock on the door. When he opens the door, he sees a large gorilla with a sign around his neck saying, "IF I CATCH YOU, IM GOING TO SCREW YOU"