this guy couldn't beat the rap, so he beat his attorney instead
When you’re on trial for a certain type of crime, it’s not best to reenact that crime in front of the whole jury unless you really want a free apartment where your toilet is always five inches from your head while you sleep.
According to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, a man on trial for assault slugged his attorney when things weren’t going his way.
The defendant didn’t like the way his trial was going and asked for the judge for a new court-appointed attorney. Well, what did he expect from a free attorney? Soup kitchens don’t serve creme brulet.
So he decided the next best course of action was to headlock his attorney and punch him repeatedly in the head. The attorney recused himself from the case and the judge refused to give him another one, so the defendant had to represent himself for the remainder of the trial. Based on the amount of brain power he’d showcased so far, you can guess where it went from there.
The judge also ordered him to finish out the trial in shackles and his orange jumpsuit, just to complete that “guilty” ensemble he had been constructing since he went all “Ultimate Warrior” on his counsel.
drugs & crime are always a terrible combination, but here's a real winner:
South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.
divorce would've been simpler
Arizona: A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year- old woman, who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.
and finally, the brightest bulb in the christmas set
WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
