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Not the same old story
My mother got cancer when I was 14, so my parents (mother and stepfather) sent me to live with my aunt and uncle in Wyoming. I hated every day I was there, but somehow I made it through an entire year and returned to live with my parents the next year. I suppose part of me never forgave my parents for sending me away.
When I returned home, my mother was still bedridden in recovery from her cancer and her doctor advised her that my stepfather should take over the “parenting role.” Since my mother wasn’t around to see anything I did, it gave my stepfather complete control over my life. My stepfather would lie to my mother about me and my mother would believe him (And why not? Wouldn’t you believe your spouse?). One time, I spoke to my mother and explained that he was lying to her and she said something I’ll never forget: “I won’t believe that this man lied!” (Motioning to my stepfather).
That’s when I knew that I had to get out. The next time my stepfather made up a story about me (the next day), I yelled back at him and he told me that if I didn’t like the rules, I could get out. I DIDN’T like the rules so I left. I was 15 at the time.
I went to live with a friend and his parents for the first few months. I got a job at a burger joint down the street and I worked as many hours as I could. A couple of months after I left, I went drinking with some buddies and ended up being arrested and charged with a minor in possession of alcohol, so I had to go to court. Of course, a notice was sent to my parent’s home, so my father showed up in court. He spoke to the judge and made up more lies about me (he actually lied on the witness stand) and, to make a long story short, I was sentenced to 30 days in juvenile detention.
Before me, the most anyone in my county had ever gotten for a minor in possession of alcohol was 7 days in juvy. I felt it was unfair to have to serve 30 days, but what really upset me was that there was another guy in juvy that had 20 days…FOR RAPE OF A CHILD… I learned a hard lesson in juvy: life is not fair. When I accepted that, things started to get better in my life.
When my time in juvy was up, my stepfather refused to pick me up, so I ended up as a ward of the state. I was put in a foster home pretty close to some of my friend’s houses so I got to hang out with them and be a normal kid again. The lady that I lived with just took the $500 that she got from the government every month, gave me half of it, and said “you’re on your own!” We slept in the same house, but that was about it.
I got another job and went back to school. I graduated from H.S. on time and since I was a ward of the state, I got free tuition to go to college. At college, I majored in the hardest thing that I could find: Chemical Engineering. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.
At 21, I graduated with a 3.95 GPA and had plenty of great job offers making a lot of money, but I turned them down and took the MCAT to go to medical school. I am now in my 2nd semester of medical school and am loving life. I am with the woman of my dreams and I have a bright future.
I never speak to my parents anymore and that’s fine with me. All they ever did was doubt me and hold me back. I’d like to talk to my mother (who made a full recovery from her cancer), but then I’d run the risk of having to see my stepfather again. That’s enough to keep me away.
Running away was the best thing that I ever did. If I hadn’t done it, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
Advice: There is one piece of advice that I give away every chance that I get. Through everything that happens, stay in school. Education is what got me out of the mess that I was in. Kids these days (I still consider myself a kid, I guess) often choose to do badly in school to fight back at their parents. There is NOTHING that could ever shackle you more to them than giving up on education.
