A cucumber is better than a man because.......
· The average cucumber is AT LEAST 6 inches long
· It can stay hard all night
· They don’t leave stubble burn
· They don’t fall asleep on your chest and drool
· They wont give you a shag bite
· It will never leave you for another woman..or man....or cucumber
· It wont tell you it liked you better with long hair
· It wont compare you to a center fold
· It will never call you saying “i’m gonna be late working tonight”. Then come home smelling of another woman
· It wont tell you that size doesn’t matter
· It wont get TOO excited
· It’ll never suffer from performance anxiety
· Its easy to pick up
· It can always get away at weekends
· With it you can get a single room and you wont have to sign in as mrs cucumber
· It will always respect you in the morning
· You can go to a movie with it ....and see the movie
