koking03's BLOG

When an efficient secretary asked her boss for a raise in her salary, he
turned her down, saying: ‘' Your salary is already higher than that of the
secretary at the next desk. And she has five children.’ '

‘' Excuse me,’ the efficient woman replied, ‘I thought we got paid for what we
produce here— not for what we produce at home in our own time.’ '

_________________________________________________________________
Asmall farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came
charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking.
To everyone’s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy, turned around and walked away . 

‘Weren’t you afraid?’ one of the workers
asked the boy.

‘Not at all,’ the boy replied , ‘I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.’

________________________________________________________________

Apatient complains to a famous psychologist: ‘Professor, I’ve been having terrible obsessions for years, and no one has ever been able to help me.’

‘' Who’s been treating you until now?’ '

'‘ Dr Lal Rathor '.‘

‘' I see. He’s an idiot. I’m curious to know what he advised you to do. '’

‘' To come and see you. '

’

_______________________________________________________________
Two terrorists were driving to the location where they intended to plant a
bomb, which one of them had in his lap.
Drive a little faster, the bomb may go off any minute,’ said the man carryingthe explosive.
Don’t worry,’ the driver assured him, ‘we have got a spare one in the boot.’‘‘

________________________________________________________________

Boy to mother: I’ve decided to stop studying.’
‘How come?’ asked the mother.
‘I heard that that someone was shot dead, because he knew too much.’

________________________________________________________________ 

For their first anniversary, a man bought his young wife a cell phone. She was thrilled and listened eagerly as he explained all its features. The next day she was out shopping when the phone rang.
‘Hey, darling,’ he husband said. ‘How do you like your new phone?’
‘Oh, I just love it!’ she gushed. ‘It’s so cute and small—and your voice sounds so clear.

But there’s just one thing I don’t understand.’
‘What’s that?’
‘How did you know I was at the sari shop?’

________________________________________________________________ 

Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was
losing his temper. ‘Be careful,’ he said to his wife. ‘You’'ll bring out the beast in me.’
‘So what?’ his wife shot back. ‘Who’s afraid of a mouse?’

_________________________________________________________________

Hilary: .You.re the first man I.ve ever said .yes. to. In fact, I.ve said no to

lots and lots of men..

Herbert: .What were they selling?.

 _________________________________________________________________

The police car, its siren blaring, raced in front of a speeding car and forced

it to stop.

A heavily built policeman got out and walked over.

.You name, please?. asked the policeman, taking out his notebook and pen.

.Certainly, officer,. replied the driver. .It.s Horatio Xerxes Laertes Idomeneus

Aeneas Asclepius Iphicles Menoeceus Memnon Philoctetes Tyndareus Hylas..

The policeman thought for a moment, then looked at his notebook, shook

his head and said: .I.ll just give you a warning this time . don.t break the

speed limit again..

 _________________________________________________________________

Alifelong Socialist was dying when he suddenly decided to join the Tory

party.

.But why?. asked his puzzled friends. .You.ve been a staunch Socialist all your

life..

.Well, he replied, .I.d rather it was a Tory that died than a Socialist..

If a plug would not fit, would you socket?

_________________________________________________________________

Customer: .Waiter! How much longer do you expect me to have to wait for

my poached salmon?.

Waiter: .I.m sorry, sir, but we are trying to hurry it up for you..

Customer: .Then can you assure me that you.re using the right bait?.

 _________________________________________________________________

Get up,. shouted Albert.s mother. .You.ll be late for school..

.But I don.t want to go,. protested Albert. .All the kids are horrible, the teachers

are terrible, and it.s all extremely boring. I want to stay home..

.But,. replied Albert.s mother, .you.re forty-three and the headmaster of the

school..

 _________________________________________________________________

Teacher: .Mavis, can you tell me which month is the shortest?.

Mavis: .It.s May, miss..

Teacher: .No, it isn.t. The shortest month is February..

Mavis: .But, miss, February has eight letters in it while May only has three!.

 _________________________________________________________________