For his birthday, John gets a hunting rifle. Eager to test it out, he goes hunting in the Bighorn Mountains. After some time there, he sees a bear, aims and fires.
He cautiously moves closer to the shot bear to check if it was dead . Soon after he starts inspecting the kill, he feels a tap on his shoulder. When he turns back, a huge brown bear was right beside him. The bear says to the hunter:
"It's not looking good, John. That right there, used to be my cousin, and you killed him in cold blood. You have 2 options, John. Either I tair you apart and eat you, or ... we have sex."
John ponders for a bit and says:
"Ok, bear. If this is what it takes to make it out alive, I'll do it."
When the whole thing is over, John barely makes it out of the woods. He spends 2 weeks in the hospital. But when he comes out, he is posessed by the desire of revenge.
So he goes back to Bighorn Mountains to search for the bear that humiliated him. After some time, he finds it, aims and kills it. Unfortunately, soon he feels another tap on the back.
This time there was this great grizzly bear:
"John! That brown bear you just killed used to be my second grade cousin. You have 2 options. Either I kill you or we have 'wild sex!'"
Seeing himself in the same choice, he makes the same decision, wanting to make it out alive.
This time, he spends over 2 months in reanimation in the hospital. Being a stubborn person, John wants revenge again so heads back in the woods, finds the grizzly bear that made him permanent scars and kills it.
You guessed it people, there's another tap on John's back.
John turns around, almost knowing what's going to happen, and sees a polar bear. The 1,500 pound bear says to him:
"John, let's be honest now. You don't really come here for the hunting."
