mudpumps' BLOG

well Im not American, or even close to the USA/Canada.

but well,

welfare money should go to those who really needs them,

buying drugs (narc), and stuff like that, for it, its not right.

If they were sick, and needed medicine, that would have been another story.

and No!

I don`t see addiction as being a illnes, but a weak minded person,

that has let him/her-self be misguided by other people.(that includes doctors)

and made a choice to be like that.

because there is always a way out.

and if there should be someone who think: you don`t know anything.

my doctor(s) had me heavily medicated for extreme pains, over a long period of time,

but I did not get addicted.

(the medication was well needed.)

It has a lot to do, whit ones own will, to not surrender to it.

The reason for the pains, was so easily solved in the end,

and I, was the person.

who finally figured out what it was.

Not the doctor,

I found it on the internet.

well that should say how much trust, I have in doctors.

NONE.

they are not goods, as some of them might think.

Over a Year with extreme pains.

That`s what they gave me.

The fact that I came out, still being human.

That is still a mystery to me.

well I have become a colder person I guess.

but to those who are really sick, I understand their pain, well to much.

Have you ever been in such pain.

that you wished someone just would come, and kill you.

because you had to much pride, to do it yourself.

I have.

Well, I seldom have those pains now,

I can feel my body now, its no longer an empty shell, that breathes.

so I guess my pride saved me:)

and my painkillers is just of the regular type now,

well, when I need them:)

Not morphine, and other shit any longer:)

I guess it would have been normal, if I got addicted though.

since I had to use it for such a long time.

I guess I was lucky.

maybe it was my drive, that I had lost my trust in them.

taking less, when I felt I could handle it for a while.

(the pain that is.)

hi

hi man

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