ggallin's BLOG

Three mice are in a bar, bragging about who is toughest. The first mouse downs his whiskey and says, "I go looking for mousetraps. When I find one, I set it off, catch the bar in my mouth, bench press it 50 times to work up an appetite, the take the cheese."

The second mouse downs his tequila and says, "I find those poison traps and get the little pieces of poison out. I grind them up and mix them with my coffee in the morning and it gives me a good buzz."

The third mouse finishes his beer. The other two look at him and say, "Well?"

He replies, "I don't have time for this crap, I'm going home to screw the cat."

Q1: Why did Tarzan paint his balls red?

A1: So that he could hide in a cherry tree.

Q2: What's the loudest sound in the forest?

A2: A giraffe eating cherries from a cherry tree.

Whats an EMO Kid?

Why do Mexicans love playing Uno?

They all try to get a green card.

In WW II a few polish soldiers of a company are retreating trough a village. An polish - jewish soldier get lost of his company in retreat when heard the villagers screaming : germans are comming!

He try to hide himself in a dried deep well.

When germas arrived one of the german soldier look into the dark deep well and doesn't see anything an he said : Is anybody there?

The jewish soldier try to reproduce the echo answering the german : Is anybody there? Is anybody there? Is any...

the german saiz: I better go.

Jewish soldier(echo) : I better go. I better go. I better..

the german: I better throw a grenade.

Jewish soldier : I better go. I better go.I better go

What do you have if you have a moth ball in each hand?

An extremely large moth.

A duck is walking allong a freeway. He sees some rabbits crossing the road over and over again. He waits, hoping one of them will be run over. But after an hour, still zero dead rabbits. So the duck asks one of the rabbits: How come you are never hit by a car? Rabbit: Simple, you jump on the road, see 2 headlights, crouch center between, wait for the car to pass then jump to the ofter side. So the duck says, I can do that. He jumps on the road, sees 2 headlights, crouches between...Splat!!! dead duck.

Says one of the rabbits to the other: Hey, you don't see allot of those three-wheeled cars anymore.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick, the brick won't follow you home after you lay it.

A father and son bull were standing on a hill overlooking some heifers at the bottom of the hill.The son looks up to his dad and says " hey lets RUN down this hill and bang one of them heifers" and the dad says "No son let's walk down this hill and bang them all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJAMu9cUtIc

this made me LOL....