"Golden,
Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm
"Sure there have been injuries and
deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer
"I think that the film Clueless was
very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I
think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress
"How to store your baby walker: First, remove
baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer
"This is no longer a slum neighborhood.
I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL
"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the
sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian
"Two grand slams in a week - man,
that's seven or eight ribbies right there."
- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Men, I want you just thinking of
one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach
"The internet is a great way to get on the
net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"I get to go to lots of overseas places,
like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer
"Most
cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
"The team has come along slow
but fast."
- Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager
"I
think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose
Game 5."
- Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player
"China is a big country, inhabited
by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President
"Football
players win football games."
- Chuck Knox, football coach
"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish
for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"It is wonderful to be here in the
great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
"It's time for the human race to enter the
solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned
mission to Mars
"I love California, I practically
grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball
seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
- David Acfield
"Chemistry
is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out
two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry
being overrated
"We're just physically not physical
enough."
- Denny Crum, Louisville basketball coach
"Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning,
rain in the afternoon."
- Detroit Daily News
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found
nothing."
- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a
ball in the 1934 World Series.
"Can you get a ticket for running a stop
sign that is not
there?"
- Driver school applicant
"The world is more like it is now
then it ever has before."
- Dwight Eisenhower
"A billion here, a billion there, sooner
or later it adds up to real money."
- Everett Dirksen, Congressman
"Boxing’s all about getting the job
done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds."
- Frank Bruno, Boxer
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's
only the people who make them unsafe."
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.
"I
have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree
with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President
"It is white."
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a
student in East London
"If
it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel
"If you think is was an accident,
applaud."
- Geraldo Rivera, talk show host, to his audience on Natalie Wood's
drowning
"I
cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity."
- Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
"Does the album have any songs you
like that aren't on it?
- Harry News, music reviewer
"Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is
six-foot-one and 212 years old."
- Herb Score, Sportscaster
"I do not like this word "bomb."
It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."
- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
"I don't want to ever, ever do something
in life that isn't fun. Ever."
- Jennifer Love Hewitt, Actress, in the February Cosmopolitan.
"We're going to move left and right
at the same time."
- Jerry Brown, Governor of California
"I have a God-given talent. I got it from
my dad."
- Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player
"Traditionally, most of Australia's
imports come from overseas."
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
"I
don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to."
- Linda Evangelista, Supermodel
"He's a guy who gets up at six
o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
- Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime
of heavyweight Andrew Golota.
I"The
largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas."
- Mark Jones, TV Broadcaster
"Pitching is 80% of the game.
The other half is hitting and fielding."
- Mickey Rivers, baseball player
"I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy.
So is my wife."
- Mike Greenwell, Baseball player
"If only faces could talk..."
- Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl
"All of the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles
this year have been at Dodger Stadium."
- Ralph Kiner, NY Sportscaster
"Solutions are not the answer."
- Richard Nixon, former U.S. President
"Permitted vehicles not allowed."
- Road sign on US 27
"A bachelor's life is no life for
a single man."
- Samuel Goldwyn
"SAFETY FIRST: Please put on your seat belt
- prepare for accident."
- Sign on backseat of Taxi
"If history repeats itself, I should
think we can expect the same thing again."
- Terry Venables
