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You know what Britney Spears has to do if she wants to keep her kids? No, not try to wear a pair of knickers for once in her effing life - although that'd be a start - instead, Britney Spears has to undergo random drug testing.

According to the judge in the Britney Spears/ Kevin Federline custody bitchfight over their two young children, Britney Spears is a "habitual, frequent, and continuous" abuser of both drugs and alcohol, and if Britney Spears is serious about keeping her children, she'll need to submit herself to random drug tests to ensure that she's keeping her nose clean. "Huh?" you're probably thinking, "If Britney Spears is on drugs then why doesn't the judge immediately hand custody over to Kevin Federline?" And the answer to that is simple - because he's Kevin sodding Federline. Seriously, Britney Spears would need to set one of her babies on fire and throw it out of an aeroplane to make Kevin Federline even look like a halfway suitable custody prospect.

http://www.hecklerspray.com/britney-spears-ordered-to-take-drug-tests-for-some-reason/200610115.php/

Usually, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences demonstrates a certain amount of contempt for television by awarding Emmys to people and shows that died creatively years ago, former favorites that the public no longer even knows are on.

The Academy mostly avoided that this year; statues were awarded, for example, to America Ferrara for the campy ABC dramedy “Ugly Betty,” and to Ricky Gervais for his droll HBO series “Extras.” But its members also awarded James Spader his third consecutive win for “Boston Legal,” last season’s 48^th-most-popular series, and gave a quasi-honorary final-season win to “The Sopranos” as best drama.

However, the 59^th annual primetime Emmys were not really about honoring great television, opening instead with a musical number that set a tone for the evening and communicated a message that built off of last year’s orgy of self-deprecation.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20813020/

Drama series The Sopranos, HBO

Comedy series 30 Rock, NBC

Reality competition programme The Amazing Race, CBS

Actor, drama series James Spader, Boston Legal, ABC

Actor, comedy series Ricky Gervais, Extras, HBO

Actress, drama series Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters, ABC

Actress, mini-series or movie Helen Mirren, Prime Suspect: The Final Act (Masterpiece Theatre), PBS

Directing, drama series The Sopranos: Kennedy and Heidi, HBO

Directing, mini-series, movie or dramatic special Prime Suspect: The Final Act (Masterpiece Theatre), PBS

Writing for a drama series The Sopranos: Made in America, HBO

Writing, mini-series, movie or dramatic special Prime Suspect: The Final Act, PBS

So he wasn't elected president. Big deal. How many other presidential candidates have an Emmy and an Oscar sitting on the shelf at home?

Former Vice President Al Gore took home an Emmy Sunday night for creative achievement in interactive television for Current TV, his youth-oriented television channel.

"We are trying to open up the television medium so that viewers can help them make television and join the conversation of democracy and reclaim American democracy by talking about the choices we have to make," Gore said as he accepted the award.

Current TV reaches about 40 million homes in the United States.

Earlier this year, Gore received an Oscar for his global-warming documentary "An Inconvenient Truth."

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hDZiKAnsOVhNbJfEFSHsvZh9eZKw

BRITNEY spears could lose custody of her two sons within in the next 24 hours thanks to a Los Angeles attorney bringing a "secret" witness to court for the custody battle between the troubled pop star and ex-husband Kevin Federline.

Attorney Gloria Allred last week signed a declaration from a witness, described as a man who has had close observation of Spears's behaviour with her kids, with the court, FOXNews.com.au reported.

The witness, whose declaration has already served as testimony, will appear at the closed hearing case at Los Angeles County Superior Court with Ms Allred at 8.30am ( 11.30pm AEST).

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22431489-23109,00.html

The fallout from Britney Spears’ performance at the MTV Music Awards is becoming more bizarre with reports the starlet popped anti-depressants before the show.

Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton said Spears took the drugs minutes before her uninspiring performance after a fight with her hair stylist.

Britney was unhappy with her chosen hairstyle and went into a “blind panic” before her comeback.

“Britney took enough to floor an elephant. They calmed her down, but clearly were too effective,” a source told British tabloid The Sun.

...

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=295990

Child abuse: har-dee-har-har.

In this mortal universe of laughter and pain, few things aren't ripe for comedy. Horndog teenagers, asinine bosses, Kazakh journalists - all fair game. But after watching Mr. Woodcock, after digesting Mr. Woodcock, after respooling scenes from Mr. Woodcock inside my hurting brain, I've come to the conclusion that kids in agony just aren't funny. Ever.

For a case in point, consider that flashback near the beginning of the film when Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton), lining up boys in his gym class, singles out a wheezing asthmatic to run laps. Or the time he steps hard on a kid's back in the midst of push-ups. Or the bit with the baseball bat and a chubby pupil's unprotected, underagecrotch. Mr. Woodcock swings. I'm sad to say he doesn't miss.

...

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent/movies/reviews/5089167.html

THE Brave One opens on one woman's voice: Erica Bain's, buttery and soft, oozing through her broadcast at a New York radio station. Her show highlights sounds from around the city, intercut with Erica's over-written elegies for a disappearing time and place.

"When you love something," she says, reflecting on old Manhattan, "every time a bit of it goes, you lose a piece of yourself."

...

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent/movies/reviews/5099015.html

I got this news from http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=da7b918e-cb57-4a7b-b654-6a132019952b&sid=fd-news.

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