ozzette's BLOG

Well, I haven't been around for awhile.  I went on vacation and had a great time.  Did alot of healing, sleeping and thinking, still am, as a matter of fact.  I am doing some isolating but am trying to get out and about a couple, three times a week.  Decided to take a me day today, so, no cooking, cleaning, other ucky stuff, just dishes.  There is plenty of food in the house.  Don't really know what else I can discuss with you all...not right now, anyway, because I don't know how permanent my thoughts are right now.  I am learning to slow down, trying to practice it, anyway, before I put my foot in my mouth or screw anything up again.  I am doing alot of thinking right now, but it is so personal, and most of it is just screwy anyway.  I will try to have a topic next time.  Just wanted you all to know I am not dead and haven't given up on my blog, I am just at a turning point right now and don't quite know which way is up. ......

Just a note to those few readers I have...my previous blog was on another site and here is the link...  http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-oN44IE01eqJERJXahwMcJA--;_ylt=Aq95dMOyaoPR9H128Qhyjf.sAOJ3?cq=1

Thanks for coming around!

o

It has been quite the week so far.  On Sunday my mother set up a meeting with the Pastor and his wife.  She proceeded to talk in this whiny, scared little voice that I never heard before.  In the end, after about 2 hours, her last statement was that she was afraid I was going to hurt her, physically.  She's nuts.  I told my kids and they laughed and said "Why would she think that?"  I've never even been in a fight.  So, I proceeded to get ignorant with her, I couldn't stop myself.  I told her if we had to talk she could hold a broomstick between us...LOL.  I had a few other choice remarks, non of which were at all appropriate, but I was angry and hurt by then.  Things will never be the same between my Mom and me.

Well, my Florida trip was supposed to be today.  I was to get on the train at 9:49, but I was in the bathroom when they announced it, so guess who missed their train.   Smooooooth. ......

Well, my new year went as expected.  On Sunday I started coming down with a cold.  By Monday it was the full blown Flu.  Being the doctor-loving person I am, I put off calling my family physician (especially it being New Year's Eve and all).  So, I was suffering along when I layed down to sleep (which I had been doing anyway) and the room started spinning and I got nauseous.  I got scared and did the awful deed of going to the emergency room.  I was pleasantly surprised.  They put me through something called FastTrak.  I got in a waiting room, took off my coat, and they called my name.  I was taken into a special ward with few beds.  I bet I was in and out of there in 30-40 minutes!  Anyway, the interesting news is I have an inner ear infection.  It is viral, as I have had symptoms since before my ECT treatments.  This infection can cause panic attacks, anxiety and depression.  Your senses get so confused that......

This is my blog.  I am going to use it faithfully, I hope, because sometimes I just can't write.  Alot of you will find this blog bizarre, freakish, erratic, unstable and at times even volatile and unpredictable.

My family's real Christmas doesn't start until Dec 26, when my sister and her kids get here.  The girls stay with Mom and the boys stay with me.  This was one of my most joyous and religious Christmases I have ever had.   Bear with me here.  In November I finished up a series of ECT (ElectroShockTreatments), and I haven't felt that good since before I was a teenager, if even then.  The doc had me scheduled for 12 treatments, half of which I did in the nut ward and half on an outpatient basis.  The doc wanted me to continue with the treatments on first a weekly basis, and then a monthly basis.  As much as they helped my depression and anxiety, the were absolute torture......