There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man
and one of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway
for a hundred years, when
one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with
a single gesture, brings the
two to life.
The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so
patient through a hundred
blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been
given life for thirty minutes
to do what you've wished to do the most.'
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go
running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and
giggling ensues. After
fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and
laughing.
The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes
left, would you care to
do itagain?'
He asks her 'Shall we?'
She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's
change positions.......
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
company's Christmas party. He didn't even remember
how he got home from the party.
As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he
saw is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side
table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean
and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in
perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye
staring back at him in the bathroom mirror .
Then he noticed a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written
in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife
in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries
to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Jillian"
He......
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts,
and are things people actually said in court, word for word,
taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm
while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
====================
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
====================
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something
you forgot?
====================
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
====================
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been......
There are 7 girls in a bus.
Each girl has 7 backpacks.
In each backpack, there are 7 big cats.
For every big cat there are 7 little cats.
Don't count the bus driver !
Question: How many legs are there in the bus?
This is not a trick question
