GIZMO2381'SBLOG

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.

The bartender said to......

These are important facts we all need to know.  No up-chucking please.

During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/2 litre of urine.

In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles etc.)

An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain......

DUCKS IN HEAVEN

Three women all die together and go to heaven.when they get there St Peter turns to the three women and says!

"we only have one rule in heaven and thats dont step on the DUCKS"

So the three women enter thru the pearly gates and sure enough there are ducks everywhere. its practically impossible to move without stepping on a duck.

and all though they try there hardest the first women accidentally steps on one

along comes St peter and the ugliest man you have ever seen he chains the women to him and says "This is your punishment for stepping on the duck you will spend the rest of eternity......

SORRY OFFICER

I was traveling home one day

when all of a sudden

in my rear view mirror i saw the local

law enforcements lights flashing

i had been speeding but thought

using my natural charms i would get

away without a speeding ticket.

The officer walked over looked at me

then looked in the back and it became apparent i was'nt going to get away with it

So were to begin lets see. firstly if theres anyone out there willing to give out any hints or advice on how to make bein a newbie easier then please dont hesitate to commentt. as am probably not the only one out there. After all we all had to start somewhere.

Secondly aint it great how you can be in touch with so many people around each and every corner of the globe. which with every new friend or vistor on your page the globe suddenly doesnt seem as big as it once was.

third and foremost whats easier for people to do read the posts that are out there or create one. its not as simple as i thought it would be. i always imagined i would be able to spend endless hours putting down my views but suddenly its all gone. for me it seems easier to reply to others posts and queires. who knows maybe this is just the start and with time i will find more to talk about.

so please feel free to leave a comment or advice,hints,tips or help its all appreicated.......