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STOP violence against women
Sun Sep 14, 08 05:06 AM | Category: All
stop
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violence women
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THIS IS SOOOO DAMN FUNNY! GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU LAUGH!!
Sun Sep 14, 08 09:03 AM | Category: Funnies

 

 

yOU HAVE JUST GOT TO WATCH THIS - GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

 

The first guy he is talking to, had his testicles accidently removed in a hospital blunder!!

 

 

 

 

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funny_pic_perfect_Man_joke
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A Good way of getting out of trouble!!!
Sun Sep 14, 08 08:54 AM | Category: All
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves......
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Boys Dads reports
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SERIOUS usefull information - please read
Sun Sep 14, 08 08:49 AM | Category: All
MET POLICE

Subject: POLICE INFORMATION - NOT A JOKE - ACTUAL SAFETY ADVICE

first bit is mainly for women, but boys please read it and
send it on to any women you care about. The second bit is a warning to all of us!

Some sound advice for us all as we all sometimes forget to take our common sense with us when we go out. This is from Northants Police.. Women.... In light of the recent kidnapping and now murder ofLeigh Mathews, I think it is important to read the following info for your own safety.
Things women should know to stay safe: Please Take the time to
read these pointers. There may just be one or two you hadn't thought of.

After reading this, forward it to someone you care about. It never
hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. If a robber asks for your handbag, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you.... he is probably more interested......
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crime Attack women Safe
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A woman Scorned!
Sun Sep 14, 08 08:46 AM | Category: Funnies
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining
room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a
pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.] Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even......
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Man wife divorce
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THE BIKER
Sun Sep 14, 08 08:43 AM | Category: Heart warming/wrench
THE BIKER

I saw you, hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line.
But, you didn't see me, put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate
last Sunday.

I saw you, pull your child closer when we passed each other on the
sidewalk.
But, you didn't see me, playing Santa at the local mall.

I saw you, change your mind about going into the restaurant.
But, you didn't see me, attending a meeting to raise more money for
the hurricane relief.

I saw you, roll up your window and shake your head when I rode by.
But, you didn't see me, riding behind you when you flicked your
cigarette butt out the car window.

I saw you, frown at me when I smiled at your children.
But, you didn't see me, when I took time off from work to run toys to
the homeless.

I saw you, stare at my long hair.
But, you didn't see me, and my friends cut ten inches off for Locks of
Love.

I saw you, roll your eyes at our leather jackets and gloves.
But, you didn't see me, and my brothers donate our old ones to those
that......
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biker Fear Death Sad
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Men, wives and inlaws!
Sun Sep 14, 08 08:39 AM | Category: Funnies
The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?

The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is of my wife."

"What happened to her?"

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also. "

A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?"

Pointing to the line behind, the man replied "Join the queue."
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Men wife mother_in_law
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Gold Wrapping paper - such a nice story
Sun Sep 14, 08 08:36 AM | Category: Heart warming/wrench
The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her five year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and then said, 'This is for you, Mummy.'

The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty. She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. 'Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's
supposed to be something inside the package?'

She had tears in her eyes and said, 'Oh, Mummy, it's not empty! I blew kisses into it until it was full.'

The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger.

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Love anger child
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Haha PMSL - for the guys :-) !!!
Sun Sep 14, 08 08:25 AM | Category: Funnies
When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take......
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guys Girls funny. joke
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Soo true (for us oldies!!!)
Sun Sep 14, 08 08:15 AM | Category: Various Crap
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 1960s, 1970s and early 1980s probably shouldn't have survived, because our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was regularly chewed and licked.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles or latches on doors or cabinets, and it was fine to play with pans. When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent 'spokey dokeys' on our wheels.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags and riding in the front passenger seat - or the boot - was a treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle, and it tasted the same.

We ate chips, bread and butter pudding, and drank fizzy juice with sugar in it, but were never overweight because we were always outside playing. We shared one drink with four friends - from one bottle or can - and no one actually died from it.

We would spend several hours building go-carts out of......
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old past 80's
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