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homemediapc
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Points: 118
Country: UK
Gender: Female

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Sun Sep 14, 08 08:00 AM | Category: Heart warming/wrench

I am hereby tendering my resignation as an adult.

 

I have decided that I want to accept the responsibilities of an eight year old again.

I want to go to McDonalds and think it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across puddles and make ripples with rocks.

I want to think Smarties are better than money because you can eat them

I want to return to a time when life was simple:

When a 'Race Issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest,

When it wasn't odd to have two or three 'Best friends'.

When it was unbelievable that 'Kerby' wasn't an Olympic sport.

When the worst embarrassment was being picked last for the team.

When icecream was concidered a basic food group.

When football cards could transform any pushbike into a motorbike.

When all you knew were colours, mutiplication tables and nursery rhymes; but that didn't bother you because you did not know what you did not know and you did not care.

All you knew was to be happy, because......

Sun Sep 14, 08 07:54 AM | Category: Various Crap
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it
Sun Sep 14, 08 07:33 AM | Category: Heart warming/wrench
One day, when I was a freshman in high school,

I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.

His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was
carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?

He must really be a nerd.'

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends
tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.


They really should get lives.

' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'

There......
Sun Sep 14, 08 07:04 AM | Category: All
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't come with energy
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the motion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

......
Sun Sep 14, 08 07:01 AM | Category: All
BEING BRITISH.

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want......
Sun Sep 14, 08 06:51 AM | Category: Heart warming/wrench
Just
for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when
I feel like crying.
Just
for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile
and say how perfect it is.
Just
for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and
take you to the park to play.
Just
for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach
me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just
for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off,
and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..
Just
for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you
scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he
comes by.
Just
for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you
grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are
concerned.
Just
for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand
over you trying......
Sun Sep 14, 08 05:35 AM | Category: Funny Pics
cleanteeth
Sun Sep 14, 08 05:34 AM | Category: Funny Pics
hicat
Sun Sep 14, 08 05:31 AM | Category: Funny Pics
hungovercat
Sun Sep 14, 08 05:28 AM | Category: Funny Pics
perfect man
21 2/3 |Prev123Next