Boldman's BLOG

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: 'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?'

The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.'

Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?'

The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.'

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of his hair?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else.......

I don't know what you guys are paying for petrol... but here in Durban, we are also paying higher, up to 47.35 per litre. But my line of work is in petroleum for about 31 years now, so here are some tricks to get more of your money's worth for every litre.

Here at the Marian Hill Pipeline, where I work in Durban, we deliver about 4 million litres in a 24-hour period thru the pipeline.

One day is diesel; the next day is jet fuel, and petrol, LRP and Unleaded. We have 34-storage tanks here with a total capacity of 16,800,000 litres.

ONLY BUY OR FILL UP YOUR CAR OR BIKKIE IN THE EARLY MORNING WHEN THE GROUND TEMPERATURE IS STILL COLD. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground, the denser the fuel, when it gets warmer petrol expands, so buying in the afternoon or in the evening.... your litre is not exactly a litre. 

In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the petrol, diesel and jet fuel,......

Here are some very good tips on improving your vehicle's Fuel Economy / Increase Fuel Efficiency / Mileage. With increasing fuel prices it is becoming more and more prudent to use them.

Use your gears wisely.
Driving in the highest gear possible without labouring the engine is a
fuel-efficient way of driving. A vehicle travelling at 60kmph in third gear
uses 25 percent more fuel than at the same speed in fifth gear

Drive smoothly
Think ahead! By applying light throttle and avoiding heavy braking, you can
reduce both fuel consumption and wear and tear. Try to predict traffic at
junctions and when in queuing to avoid accelerating and then braking.
Research suggests driving techniques can influence car fuel efficiency by as
much as 30 percent.

Switch off your engine
There are two schools of thought on this one. Switching your engine off for
short periods of time can actually increase fuel consumption, as it requires
more fuel to get the engine started. Also your......

A little girl asked her mother,

'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered,

'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered,

'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said,

'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God,

and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered,

'Well, dear, it is very simple.

I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

Men always have better friends....

They will stand by you, no matter what....!!!

Here's an example:-

Friends of Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night.

So she tells her husband the very next morning,

that she stayed at her (girl) friend's apartment overnight.

So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and

none of them confirmed that she was with them.

Friends of Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night.

So he tells his wife the very next morning,

that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night.

So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirmed that

he stayed at their apartments that night and

another 5 claimed that he is still with them!!

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the
bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child
collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
 
 
 

QUESTIONS :
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?

ANSWER :
The......

Two men

met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: How yours look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?

1st:

Forget mine.

Lets find yours!!

**********

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

**********


What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

**********

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies," No, It means ,

"With Idiot For Ever!!!"

**********

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic

is when both are pregnant.

**********

Teacher: u know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed......