Boldman's BLOG

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the
bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child
collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
 
 
 

QUESTIONS :
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?

ANSWER :
The......

Two men

met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: How yours look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?

1st:

Forget mine.

Lets find yours!!

**********

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

**********


What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

**********

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies," No, It means ,

"With Idiot For Ever!!!"

**********

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic

is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: u know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed......

1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he   could  see was sea, sea, sea.

5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

7. I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought   I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been  the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

8. Once a fellow met a fellow......

When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day

An angel came by and said: “Why spend so much time on that one?”

And the Lord answered:

“Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?"

“She must be washable, but not made of plastic, have more than 200 moving parts which all must be replaceable and she must function on all kinds of food, she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart and she must do all this with only two hands”.

The angel was impressed.

“Just two hands....impossible!“

And this is the standard model?

“Too much work for one day....wait until tomorrow and then complete her“

“I will not”, said the Lord. “I am so close to complete this creation, which will be the favorite of my heart”.

“She cures herself when sick and she......

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than......

Some people never understand

Once a lady when having a conversation with her lover, asked:

Lady :

Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?

Man :

I can t tell the reason.. but I really like you..

Lady :

You can t even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?

Man :

I really don t know the reason, but I can prove that I love U.

Lady :

Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!

Man :

Ok..ok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful,

because your voice is sweet,

because you are caring,

because you are loving,

because you are thoughtful,

because of your smile,

because of your every movements.

The lady felt very satisfied with the man s answer.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and went in comma.

The Guy then placed a letter by her side,

  ......

All of us make little health mistakes that cause damage to our bodies in the long run - simply because we are unaware we are doing something wrong. Here are some of the most common mistakes made by many of us.

Crossing our legs
Do you cross your legs at your knees when sitting? Although we may believe that this is the lady-like elegant way to sit, sitting this way cuts down circulation to your legs. If you don"t want varicose veins to mar the beauty of your legs and compromise your health, uncross your legs every time you realise you have one knee on top of the other. The best way to sit is to simply place both legs together on the floor, balancing your weight equally. If you feel like changing position, instead of crossing your legs, simply move both legs together to one side. As an alternative, you could also consider crossing your legs loosely at the ankles. This is a classically elegant way to sit, and is far better for your legs and your health than sitting with your legs crossed......