"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with
a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"Let's take your car."
Really means...
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of
gas."
"Woman driver."
Really means...
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has
a better driving record than me."
"I don't care what color you paint the
kitchen."
Really means...
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray,
mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."
"It's a guy thing."
Really means...
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no
chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means...
"Why isn't it already......
