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Ashok

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My Profile

Ashok
67082
.....
Points: 304
Country: India
Gender: Male
Constellation: Cancer

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Sat Sep 13, 08 06:32 AM | Category: Tips

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

 

-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

 

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

 

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

 

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

 

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

 

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

 

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

 

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

 

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

 

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it''''s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

 

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

 

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

 

Sat Sep 13, 08 06:32 AM | Category: Tips

One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window.

- Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn

- Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator...

- Boston

Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror

- New York

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat

- Italy

One hand on horn,
one hand greeting,
one ear on cell phone,
one ear listening to loud music,
foot on accelerator,
eyes on female pedestrians,
conversation with someone in the car

- Welcome to India!!

Thu Sep 11, 08 03:17 AM | Category: Tips

1.)
Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2.)
Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.)
Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4.)
Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.)
Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.)
That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a wom an
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.)
Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8.)
Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!

Wed Sep 10, 08 03:27 PM | Category: Tips

Trying to find just the right name for your child? Why not pick one of these?

Just find your profession below and we have the right name for you!

Lawyer's daughter: Sue

Thief's son: Rob

Lawyer's son: Will

Doctor's son: Bill

Hair stylist's son: Bob

Homeopathic doctor's son: Herb

Justice of the peace's daughter: Mary

Sound stage technician's son: Mike

Gambler's daughter: Bette

Iron worker's son: Rusty

TV star's daughter: Emmy

Movie star's son: Oscar

Wed Sep 10, 08 03:21 PM | Category: Tips
Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: "tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"


Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst
Wed Sep 10, 08 04:43 AM | Category: Dirty Jokes

Picture of the day, define Auto focus! 


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Wed Sep 10, 08 04:43 AM | Category: Dirty Jokes

The Smart Boy!

Maths Teacher : If you have 12 chocolates and you give
5 to priya ,
3 to Anita and
4 to kavitha
then what will u get????

scroll down to see the answer....

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Student : 3 New Girlfriends Mam!

gf_mam

 

Tue Sep 9, 08 01:42 PM | Category: All

 HOW A BOYS MIND WORKS boys_mind

 

  HOW A GIRLS MIND WORKS

girls_mind

Tue Sep 9, 08 01:42 PM | Category: Funny Jokes



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Tue Sep 9, 08 12:06 PM | Category: Tips

Do you know how Girls Download Videos from Internet? 

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Scroll down for the answer, you will be amazed!


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girls_download_internet