MaeLin's BLOG

"This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean up.
Your stuff is lying on the floor,
and if we don't do laundry right now
you'll have no clothes to wear."

What a Man Hears:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES.

 *********************************************************

When man chooses woman, he looks for 3 things:

1. she must be pretty

2. she must have big breasts

3. she must be stupid

When woman chooses her man, she looks for 2 things:

1. He must be rich

2. He must think she's stupid, because she has big breasts and she's pretty  

I was watching commercials (again, I feel like there’s nothing else on TV), and it came to my mind:  I know commercials can affect you buy specific type of product (at least they can make us look for some product),

You know, you’re watching TV and you hear: buy “G….” coffee, it’s great, buy “G….” , buy “G….”. So I come into the store to buy bread and milk…and I buy that bloody coffee.

But I wonder, how strong they can affect us to feel aversion for the product.

One company in my country made really, really, really shovanistic commercial for their beer. As a result, women protested on official site, on forums and some even stoped drinking that kind of beer.

I avoided one type of ice-cream for a year or so, for they paid girls on the beach to wear swimsuit, with label “lick carefully” on breast or bum. It was just too repulsive to me.

Maybe this......

God talkes to Adam: "Adam, give me one of your ribs"
Adam: "No"
God: "Adam! Give me the rib!"
Adam: "No!"
God: "Come on, Adam! It's just one rib"
Adam: "No!"
God: "Why not?"
Adam: "I don't know. I have a bad feeling about this"

3 Men standing on the of the river side, wandering how to cross to the other side. First man starts praying to God. He prayed for an hour and God heard his prayers. He made man really strong, so man could swim over the river. So he did.

Second man saw that, and started praying to God. He prayed for 3 hours. God heard his prayers and gave man boat, to cross the river. So he did.

Third man saw that praying worked for other two men, so he started praying, too. He prayed for 5 hours. God heard his prayers and turned man into a woman, and she crossed over the bridge to the other side. 

Rule of Accuracy

When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.

Corollary - Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

Agnes Allen's Law

Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

Allen's Axiom

When all else fails, follow instructions.

Alligator Principle

When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.

Avian Law

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

Law of Banks

The other line always moves faster. In order to get a loan you must first prove that you don't need it.

Bartz's Law of Hokey Horsepuckery

The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.

Beifeld's Principle

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by

pyramidal progression when......

I enjoy listening to the music, and reading lyrics.

I'm absolutely crazy for Sting and his lyrics. They are (mostly) very romantic. Some are really deep. I usually don't fall for that romantic things, but his things are really good. Here is one somewhat special:

"Fortress Around Your Heart"
  (Dream Of The Blue Turtles Album)

Under the ruins of a walled city
Crumbling towers and beams of yellow light
No flags of truce, no cries of pity
The siege guns had been pounding all through the night
It took a day to build the city
We walked through its streets in the
As I returned across the lands I'd known
I recognized the fields where I'd once played
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I'd laid

And if I built this fortress around your heart
Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire
Then let me build a bridge
For I cannot fill the chasm
And let me set the battlements on fire

Then I went off to fight some battle
That I'd invented......

A fairy is a spirit (supernatural being) found in the legends, folklore, and mythology of many cultures. They are generally humanoid in form, though of a higher, spiritual nature and so possessed of preternatural abilities.

They are often regarded as aloof, ephemeral, mercurial, and whimsical, among other qualities that place them outside of a human scope and have a tendency to make them associated or confused with other mythological creatures.

In Polish mythology, the Wila (Wi?a) are reputed in Poland and Lithuania to be the shape-shifting souls of the dead that were believed to visit the homes of their families. Peasants......

DOBRO-rec je koju zena upotrebljava da bi zavrsila razgovor. To dalje znaci da je ona apsolutno u pravu, da ne zeli dalje da gubi vreme i da nece promeniti svoje misljenje. To opet znaci da cete vi morati da ga promenite.

PET MINUTA- bi?e odlicno ako se pojavi ili bude spremna za 20. Racunajte ipak da to znaci pola sata.

NISTA- koje crno nista. Znaci svasta i ko zna sta sve ne. Ona tacno zna na koje sve se to nista odnosi. Budite spremni da je to rec koja je obicno uvod u svadju.

SAMO NAPRED (pri tom su joj obrve skupljene)- porucuje vam da radite sta hocete, a da je njoj sasvim svejedno. Ali, treba da znate da bi u ovom slucaju ona mnogo vise volela da vi pogodite šta ona zeli da uradite i da joj nije svejedno.

GLASAN UZDAH- ispusta se u posebno dramaticnim sutuacijama kada ona postaje uverena da razgovara sa potpunim idiotom. I kada pocinje da se pita zasto sa tako bezveznim likom uopste gubi svoje dragoceno vreme.Da znate da sve ovo......

If you get chased by a dog, throw him papers. By the time he reads it, you’ll be far away.

I would say my bos is bastard, but I don't want to praise him.

What if the God is atheist?

My wife and I are like pidgeons. Every now and then someone flies through the window.

Famous last words:
So...you are cannibals?
Good doggy...
What this button do?
Don't worry, it's fire-proof

How did we get out president?
we traded kingdom for horse.

two friends on bus station. One askes other:
Did you get married?
Not yet.
Well, what are you waiting for?
bus.

Superlativ is the best.

"For me, rock-n-roll is way of life" - Sizif

Politician comes home and says to his wife:
Honey, I won the elections!
You're lying?!
No.No need anymore.

One madman asks another:
what do I have in my hand?
I know!It's an ant!
No it isn't!
It's a fly!
No! It isn't.
Then It's giraffe!
Not fer! You peeked!

Japanese comes to store and says to salesman:
„Yosinohotosooeotoca ja coca-cola“
"can......