tibhes' BLOG

today is valentine's day..

last time im used 2 prepare so much 2 celebrate tis day..

bt tis year i no nid..its due to im single now..

bt wat a embarrasse..tis year velentine's day im v my ex gf..

went 2 genting v her n have diner v her..

i reali hav no idea on wats relationship we in..

but 4 sure we are not couple..n we are frens..

d feeling is kinda weird..

its more den frens but doesnot constitute couple..

we stil care each other..oways keep in touch n hang aorund.

but ody dun hav d passion of love.

perhaps we scared..

we hav been break up 4 times..both of us aso not dare 2 step any further..

tis may be d best 4 us ..juz not sure we can stay on as now until when..

im aso worried of getting hurt again..

i took a long long time n strong willpower to let go last time.

i hav no confident i can do tis one more if we failed again tis time..

no1 step further..but how if one of us start a new relation?

the answer is we may depress again..tis could be too far......

it past so long ody..

recently im reali feel better..

i even tot i hav recover..i can let ti go..

bt tis evening, i realised tat im not!

i cant ..

bt i cant do anyting aso..

haiz...d wound still pain n bleeding..

it doesnt fully recover..mayb i need sumore times..

yes..i do..let me b alone..n i shud b ok..

now u are absence in my life..

im missing you every single seconds..

you fillup my mind, my soul, and my heart..

nevertheless, i have to let u go..

this is the 1st time im so determined to let u go..

i control myself not to contact u no matter how desire i am..

i control myself not to think of you no matter how much i miss u..

i control myself not to think to get back 2 you no mater how i wish..

the every attempt i have made, i make with blood..not body but heart..

im so scared the same incident happen again ..i do not want to see u suffer anymore..

im rather im the one who may suffer..cuz u r still so important 4 me..n we cant take it anymore..its time to let it go..

we still need time to adjust our relationship now..

hopefully we still can b good fren..

OMG!!i reali feel like wana call her la..

i cant do this..must control..

at this moment my mind is blank..

at last, we break up..is her decision..

since i cant make a decision, then juz follow wat she tinks ..

sumtimes its better to act in according our feel..cuz it never lies..

the heart is reali reali reali reali reali damn damn damn pain..

loneliness, sorrowful, sadness,disspointment, depress,grieve fulfilled my heart..

y i cant get drunk? is it true that ppl hardly get drunk when they are sad..

few cup of whisky oli let me sleep couple of hours..

i dun wan to be awake now so i no need think of her...

i know she also very sad..but i have no confident to carry this relationship anymore..the same problems keep on running ..we are hopeless as long as our problem still exist..

so start from now, i have to learn how to live alone..learn how to live without her..i know it just need time..but duno takes how long lei???

hopefully not that long la..

i still cant believe we just end like this, its kinda ridiculous..however, its the last resort......

i tink last nite must have heavy rain..wen i wake up this afternoon its reali cold..however, i also take bath to remain me cool down..

d emotion is still get affected..dun woli..tis time i will not so hesitate..

always think twice b4 action..

today cold is reali different with the normal cold..its cold from inside of my heart..suddenly i seek 4 the sun..hope it can give me warm.can warm up my heart..

its feel so good wen u lie on the bed under the sunshine..the ever 1st time i dun hate sun n like it..the 1st time the sun  warm me up..

i tink loneliness reali render  ppl to be dissapointed and in sorrow..

notwaithstanding we havnt break up but the feeling of losing her is so deep until i almost lost my mind..

absolutely, i feel sad bt perhaps its better 4 me to let her go now rather than both of us continue to suffer in later time..

i have tried to control myself every single action to look for her..n im successful until this moment..

shud we talk again after......

today is big day 4 me..

finally i have talk v her about our pro..n d result is cool down..dun find each other 1st, calm down n tink wat we reali want..

of cuz its so sorrow, but i feel released..its reali better 4 me to speel out rather than keep silent..reali not my type..

tears nvr stop..bt luckily i have gd frens oways beside me..i reali appreciate them..they never give up of me exspecially when im down..

age also play an important role in love..sometimes our concept may change accordance with our age..wea are getting more mature when we getting old..

thus, my view also different v last time..the 'old' me sure wont let go so easily n continue the discussion until we get the solution..but now the 'new' me realise something called "let it go" .time always a good cure for break up pain..

eh, i havnt break up yet la..bt y it pains as break up..

another 1 more day for exam..after i talk v her, i finally can cocentrate on my study..its a gd things also..of cuz get......

we have been 2gether 4 almost 3yrs..

break up 3 times b4..

3 yrs - quite long duration in love..

we have experience so much..hardship, happiness, jealous, sadness...

at tis moment i lost..

i reali lost.

shud i continue o just break it??

d most difficult choice in my life..

n tis question could never end..

how can i stop all tis n avoid it?

i do love her..

y ppl loving each other cant get along well?

y we have so mcuh pro??y we cant understand each other??yyy??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 d most funny is i tink she duno we have these pro..haha..

im a loser in love..

i cant insist anyting in front of her..im vy clear that ntg is more important then her.. she is d domian in my life..bt how to continue a suffer relaitonship?

my heart is reali pain..pain till almost cant breath..its so hard to find d way out...

god bless me..

today i oli study 4 pages..feel vy guilty..i breach my promise..my plan is interuppted..

i hate myself..y so emo..cant b concentrate..weekend o weekday is d same..juz a day..shud not complaint so much ..study is the student's obligation hence no locus standi to complaint..

i reali hav 2 study!!if not i will beat myself!!this is d contract..i have 2 finish up all chapters by 2ml..if cant den i cannot eat spicy for a month!!

 wake up !!no more dream..no more play..

determine urself..know exactly y u need to do tis!!

set up the target clearly n move forward!!

hit the target!!!

yes!!go!!go!!go!!

wat will u do when u have quarrel v ur gf??

2 ways out:keep silent..or try to talk v her d pro n solve it?

 which 1 u prefer?

last time im d 2nd type bt now...she changed me 2 the 1st type..

i oways hold the view that the pro oli can solve by discussing-talk.

once u keep silent u swallow all the pro inside ur stomach too..its bad 4 health..

but now..wats d point is the pro remain there as u cant solve it even after u talk..the result after u talk is tears..oli crying ..

love should not full of tears.Love is kinds of hapiness hence should be happi n laughing..

therefore, now i prefer the 2nd..

if u ask me am i happy v current? my ans wil be...as long as she happy..

the sadness is i duno how long can this last..i scare i cant do tis anymore..

im kind of hot tempered..its so hard 4 me to be patient..

however, at least i had tried..

tibhes, u have done a great job!! 

so carry on..

move forward..

2nite is a wonderful nite..

i juz came back from sunshine club..

long time din enjoy clubbing so much..

thx 2 my gd buddy..