IF BABIES RULE THE WORLD ,WE MAY SEE THESE IN COMING YEARS
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SUPER MODEL SHOW
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NEW WORLD ORDER CANDIES
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T'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that blonde over there is wearing a bra."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the
first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers......
Hai All
HERE ARE SOME ORIGINALS
Coca-Cola was originally green.
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start
with.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only
on one row ! of the keyboard.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your
heart stops for a millisecond.
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest
tongue twister in the English language.
If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress
a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
What do bullet proof vests, fire......
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.
After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life
together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their
perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the
side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped
to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to
disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple
loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving
along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions
deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.
Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer. Trust me, it's worth it)
Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed
in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is......
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for
Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One
candidate is Arun an Indian (Mumbai) guy.
Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who
do not know JAVA program to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Arun
says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I
stay. I'll give it a try'
Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave.
2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself ' I never managed
anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen
to me?' So he stays.
Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to
leave. 500 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I left school
at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat
to leave. 498 people leave the room. Arun says to......
T h e B e s t M o me n t s I n Li f e
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing till your stomach hurts.
3. Enjoying a ride down the country side.
4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio.
5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.
6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel.
7. Passing your final exams with good grades.
8. Being a part of an interesting conversation.
9. Finding some money in some old pants.
10. Laughing at yourself.
11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.
12. Laughing without a reason.
13. "Accidentally" hearing someone say somthing good about you.
14. Watching the sunset.
15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.
16. Receiving or giving your first kiss.
17. Feeling this buzz in your body......
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.
Q. What......
Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
Having one child makes you a parent having two, a referee.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband!
A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot
live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it.
Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give or she'll take it anyway.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
You're getting old......
Obviously written by some male chauvinist - hope you can 'handle it'?
NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they
will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and
Four-eyes.
EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw
in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than half of these items.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything......
