SwantonS's BLOG

Yo Momma's So Fat

• when she gets on the scales, it says "to be continued"
• her blood type is Ragu
• her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard
• her college graduation picture was taken from a plane
• her dressmaker takes measurements in light years
• i gotta take three steps back to see all of her
• i had to take a train and two buses to get on her good side
• i ran around her twice and got lost
• if she weighed five pounds more, she could get group insurance
• no one can talk behind her back
• she isn't on a diet, she's on a triet
• she can lay down and stand up without a change in her height
• she can't even jump to a conclusion
• she Djs for the ice-cream van
• she fell in love and broke it
• she gets her clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo and Oh-My-Go-its-coming-towards-us
• she has her own area code
• she has to get out of the car to change gears
• she keeps Pesos in one pocket and Yen in the other
• she uses a boomerang to put on her belt
• she jumped for joy and got stuck
• she jumped in the ocean & the whales sang "We Are Family"
• she leaves stetch marks on the bathtub
• she's got smaller fat woman orbiting her
• the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds
• when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
• she left the house with high heels and came back with flip-flops
• she was baptised at Sea World
• she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
• she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it only said "H --- D"
• the weather people give names to her farts
• when she walked in front of the TV, i missed a whole movie
• her belt size is the equator
• her chairs have seat belts