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Sun Dec 7, 08 12:29 PM
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Jokes
- Ring...click....(sound of loud music in background)...Hello? - just a second while I turn the stereo off (sound of person running to click off music, which gets quiet. Sound of person running back to phone) OK, sorry about that, hi there, who's this...well hi!... uh huh...yeah...well listen you're talking to a machine, so please leave a message and I'll call you back.
- [In a strong Australian accent]
G'day mate. Can't come to the phone now because I'm a bit tied up with this crocodile. Just leave a message, and I'll get back to you.
- Hi this is . I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Please leave a message and then wait by the phone until I call you back.
- Postman: Is this letter for you? The name is smudged.
Man: No, it can't be for me, my name is Smith.
- What is white and furry and smells of peppermint?
A polo bear.
-
Consciousness - the time between naps.
- Accountant - someone you hire to explain that you didn't make the money you did.
- Wedding - a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
- Justice - a decision in your favor.
- Paradox - two physicians.
- Court of law - the place where a suit is pressed and a man can be taken to the cleaners.
- Flattery - an insult in gift wrapping.
- Alimony - the cost of loving.
- Capitalism - the survival of the fattest.
- Oboe: An ill woodwind that no-one blows good.
-
I'm a self-made man.
We accept your apology.
-
Why don't you go home and brush up on your ignorance.
- An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
- He doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
- The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
- All foam, no beer.
- He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
- The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
- His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
- Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Link:
http://blog.bitcomet.com/rd90/post_77092/
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