Svetlana's (sv_iv) Blog

1. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

2. How is it possible to have a civil war?

3. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

4. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

5. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

6. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

7. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?

8. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

9. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

11. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

12. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

13. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

14. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

15. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

17. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

18. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

19. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.