Lies... We are faced very often with situations when we have to know if in front of us is a Liar.
How we can recognise a Liar? The answer is by recognizing tell tale signs that a person isn't being honest, like inconsistencies in a story, behaviour that's different from a person's norm or too much detail in an explanation.
Every average person can become adept at identifying dishonesty, and it's not as hard as you might think. Here are the top 10 ways to let the truth be known.
Tip 1: Inconsistencies
"When you want to know if someone is lying, look for inconsistencies in what they are saying".
Very often you can see the inconsistency immediately. Usually there is something that just didn't fit. Think about how a person would respond to a situation standard situation.
Sometimes story that you are told can look just illogical.
Tip 2: Ask the Unexpected
About 4 percent of people are accomplished liars, and they can do it well. But because there are no Pinocchio responses to a lie, you have to catch them in it."
Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive! But how can you catch a person in his own web of lies?
Watch them carefully,and then when they don't expect it, ask them one question that they are not prepared to answer to trip them up."
Tip 3: Gauge Against a Baseline
One of the most important indicators of dishonesty is changes in behaviour. You want to pay attention to someone who is generally anxious but now looks calm. Or, someone who is generally calm but now looks anxious."
The trick is to gauge their behaviour against a baseline. Is a person's behaviour falling away from how they would normally act? If it is, that could mean something is up.
Tip 4: Look for Insincere Emotions
Most people can't fake smile. The timing will be wrong, it will be held too long, or it will be blended with other things. Maybe it will be a combination of an angry face with a smile; you can tell because their lips are smaller and less full than in a sincere smile."
These fake emotions are a good indicator that something has gone afoul.
Tip 5: Pay Attention to Gut Reactions
People say, 'Oh, it was a gut reaction or women's intuition,' but what I think they are picking up on are the deviations of true emotions.
While an average person might not know what it is he's seeing when he thinks someone isn't being honest and attribute his suspicion to instinct, a scientist would be able to pinpoint it exactly—which leads us to tip number six.
Tip 6: Watch for Microexpressions
When you have a gut feeling watch for microexpressions.
A microexpression is a very brief expression, usually about a 25th of a second, that is always a concealed emotion.
So when a person is acting happy, but in actuality is really upset about something, for instance, his true emotion will be revealed in a subconscious flash of anger on his face. Whether the concealed emotion is fear, anger, happiness or jealousy, that feeling will appear on the face in the blink of an eye. The trick is to see it.
Tip 7: Look for Contradictions
The general rule is anything that a person does with their voice or their gesture that doesn't fit the words they are saying can indicate a lie. For example, this is going to sound amazing, but it is true. Sometimes when people are lying and saying, 'Yes, she's the one that took the money,' they will without knowing it make a slight head shake 'no.' That's a gesture, and it completely contradicts what they're saying in words."
These contradictions can be between the voice and the words, the gesture and the voice, the gesture and the words or the face and the words.
Tip 8: A Sense of Unease
"When someone isn't making eye contact, and that's against how they normally act, it can mean they're not being honest. They look away, they're sweating, they look uneasy…anything that isn't normal and indicates anxiety.
Tip 9: Too Much Detail
When you say to someone, 'Oh, where were you?' and they say, 'I went to the store, and I needed to get eggs and milk and sugar, and I almost hit a dog, so I had to go slow,' and on and on, they're giving you too much detail.
Too much detail could mean they've put a lot of thought into how they're going to get out of a situation, and they've crafted a complicated lie as a solution.
Tip 10: Don't Ignore the Truth
It's more important to recognize when someone is telling the truth than telling a lie because people can look like they're lying but be telling truth.
While it sounds confusing, finding the truth buried under a lie can sometimes help find the answer to an important question: Why is a person lying?
These 10 truth tips all help detect deception. What they don't do is tell you why a person is lying and what the lie means.
When you think someone is lying, you have to either know the person well enough to understand why he or she might lie.
Extra Tip: Be Trusting
In general, we have a choice about which stance we take in life. If we take a suspicious stance, life is not going to be too pleasant, but we won't get mislead very often. If we take a trusting stance, life is going to be a lot more pleasant, but sometimes we are going to be taken in. As a parent or a friend, you're much better off being trusting rather than looking for lies all the time.
Sure enough, he was right.
"Her story was just illogical," Newberry says. "And that's what you should look for when you're talking to someone who isn't being truthful. Are there inconsistencies that just don't fit?"
Tip 2: Ask the Unexpected
"About 4 percent of people are accomplished liars, and they can do it well," Newberry says. "But because there are no Pinocchio responses to a lie, you have to catch them in it."
Sir Walter Scott put it best: "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!" But how can you a catch a person in his own web of lies?
"Watch them carefully," Newberry says. "And then when they don't expect it, ask them one question that they are not prepared to answer to trip them up."
Tip 3: Gauge Against a Baseline
"One of the most important indicators of dishonesty is changes in behavior," says Maureen O'Sullivan, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of San Francisco. "You want to pay attention to someone who is generally anxious but now looks calm. Or, someone who is generally calm but now looks anxious."
The trick, explains O'Sullivan, is to gauge their behavior against a baseline. Is a person's behavior falling away from how they would normally act? If it is, that could mean something is up.
Tip 4: Look for Insincere Emotions
"Most people can't fake smile," O'Sullivan says. "The timing will be wrong, it will be held too long, or it will be blended with other things. Maybe it will be a combination of an angry face with a smile; you can tell because their lips are smaller and less full than in a sincere smile."
These fake emotions are a good indicator that something has gone afoul.
Tip 5: Pay Attention to Gut Reactions
"People say, 'Oh, it was a gut reaction or women's intuition,' but what I think they are picking up on are the deviations of true emotions," O'Sullivan tells WebMD.
While an average person might not know what it is he's seeing when he thinks someone isn't being honest and attribute his suspicion to instinct, a scientist would be able to pinpoint it exactly—which leads us to tip number six.
Tip 6: Watch for Microexpressions
When Joe Schmo has a gut feeling, Paul Ekman, a renowned expert in lie detection, sees microexpressions.
"A microexpression is a very brief expression, usually about a 25th of a second, that is always a concealed emotion," says Ekman, PhD, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California Medical School in San Francisco.
So when a person is acting happy, but in actuality is really upset about something, for instance, his true emotion will be revealed in a subconscious flash of anger on his face. Whether the concealed emotion is fear, anger, happiness or jealousy, that feeling will appear on the face in the blink of an eye. The trick is to see it.
"Almost everyone—99 percent of those we've tested in about 10,000 people—won't see them," Ekman says. "But it can be taught."
In fact, in less than an hour, the average person can learn to see microexpressions.
Tip 7: Look for Contradictions
"The general rule is anything that a person does with their voice or their gesture that doesn't fit the words they are saying can indicate a lie," Ekman says. "For example, this is going to sound amazing, but it is true. Sometimes when people are lying and saying, 'Yes, she's the one that took the money,' they will without knowing it make a slight head shake 'no.' That's a gesture, and it completely contradicts what they're saying in words."
These contradictions, explains Ekman, can be between the voice and the words, the gesture and the voice, the gesture and the words or the face and the words.
"It's some aspect of demeanor that is contradicting another aspect," Ekman tells WebMD.
Tip 8: A Sense of Unease
"When someone isn't making eye contact, and that's against how they normally act, it can mean they're not being honest," says Jenn Berman, PhD, a psychologist in private practice. "They look away, they're sweating, they look uneasy…anything that isn't normal and indicates anxiety."
Tip 9: Too Much Detail
"When you say to someone, 'Oh, where were you?' and they say, 'I went to the store, and I needed to get eggs and milk and sugar, and I almost hit a dog, so I had to go slow,' and on and on, they're giving you too much detail," Berman says.
Too much detail could mean they've put a lot of thought into how they're going to get out of a situation, and they've crafted a complicated lie as a solution.
Tip 10: Don't Ignore the Truth
"It's more important to recognize when someone is telling the truth than telling a lie because people can look like they're lying but be telling truth," Newberry says.
While it sounds confusing, finding the truth buried under a lie can sometimes help find the answer to an important question: Why is a person lying?
These 10 truth tips, experts agree, all help detect deception. What they don't do is tell you why a person is lying and what the lie means.
"Microexpressions don't tell you the reason," Ekman says. "They just tell you what the concealed emotion is and that there is an emotion being concealed."
When you think someone is lying, you have to either know the person well enough to understand why he or she might lie or be a people expert.
"You can see a microexpression, but you have to have more social-emotional intelligence on people to use it accurately," O'Sullivan says. "You have to be a good judge of people to understand what it means.
Extra Tip: Be Trusting
"In general, we have a choice about which stance we take in life," Ekman says. "If we take a suspicious stance, life is not going to be too pleasant, but we won't get mislead very often. If we take a trusting stance, life is going to be a lot more pleasant, but sometimes we are going to be taken in. As a parent or a friend, you're much better off being trusting rather than looking for lies all the time."
