MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE:
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Wed Jul 23, 08 04:23 PM
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Jokes
NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike,
Dave
and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as
Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING
OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw
in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them
will
have anything smaller and none will actually
admit they want change back. When
the girls get their bill,
out come
the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman
will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more
than 20
of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything
a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a
wife.
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend. A successful woman is one who can
find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she
won't change, but she does.
DRESSING
UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get
the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her
children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances,
best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and
dreams. A man is vaguely aware of
some short people
living in the house.
THOUGHT
FOR THE DAY:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no
use in two people remembering the same thing!
Link:
http://blog.bitcomet.com/svetlana/post_44420/
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