Xaonix

 You see my face, you see the scars,

As many as the stars,

Remnants of past battles and,

Past sins...

They are there as reminders,

Where I've been, what I've done,

When I've fought, when I've run,

Who I was, Who I am,

Seemingly synonymous...

Though the wounds have healed,

The pain is too deep,

It can't be so easily mended,

Though the torment has ended,

It seems at least,

The scars remain...

I don't need them to remember,

Vivid......

How can a man be a hero, if he first must be saved.

Saved from the chains of hell; enslaved by his own story...

What man can fell a beast, if he was once one himself...

Deprived of his sword, how can he fight? His blade is of no help.

Darkness has no heart, death is immortal.

What man can save a life once an innocent life he has taken...

The weak, he's forsaken, the least of his sins.

Drowning in iniquity, where goes our hero?

To save the world? Nay! To......

This isn't a poem...

Just a few words...

Hoping somehow that someone has heard...

The multitude of endless cries...

And the trouble in this young man's eyes...

Again...

I have no intention of pleasing the reader...

I'd rather him enlightened, than glad...

But if he finds himself changed by these words...

Then i have made myself heard...

This isn't a story...

Passed down from father to son...

Nor is it a myth...

Created to sate anyone.........

Once again i find myself stuck in the middle of my sins,

I locked them all inside me, but they've burst out from within,

I know not how they, did, but now i'm lost and so alone,

My wounds have been cut deeper and are never to be sewn,

I've lost in me the will to find a way out of this grave,

For some its common sense because they have a soul to save,

But me, my soul in gone, my body's but an empy vase,

The worlds attempts at saving me have been a waste...

It seems......

I get up just to fall again,

Drowning in a pool of sin,

Waking to my own despair,

I grit my teeth cuz i don't care,

Its just the same shit different day,

Can't count the times i've felt this way,

It seems there not much i can do,

Cept' ball my fists and follow you,

I don't care bout' the road you take,

So lead me down into a lake,

In truth, the difference i won't know,

Between it and the road,

Cuz life to me is just a dream,

I'm but a log......

God knows what i'll face today,

If i'll suceed or waste away,

Writhing in pain, my price to pay,

Forever alone, a castaway.

I'm done my share of perfidy,

Shame is but a word to me,

If you could look inside of me,

You'd see me dying silently,

I've tried before to win the fight,

To catch a little sleep at night,

But try as i may, to hell's delight,

I fail to catch that fading light,

I do not know what trials await,

The lies, the shame,......

I don't know how much longer I can keep up this facade,

Far too long I've had to lie and be careful of where I trod,

But I've reached the very limit of my slowly weakened mind,

When I try to speak my thoughts, the very words I cannot find,

This has been a long time coming, I was sure this day would come,

When my past would catch up to me; the very hell I was born from,

Thinking back to when I lived as a normal person should,

I would do anything to have that back, if only I could,......

I am tainted by the past, corrupted by sins,

Yet somehow, something human has survived beneath my skin.

Its clawing at my mind, it wants to be released,

But i fear i may have crossed the line that separates man from beast.

I'm not sure what to do, I'd love to just forget.

Pretend i'd never done anything that i'd one day regret,

But you can lose yourself by dreaming, its best to let it be,

The scars remain forever, but the pain grows less, you'll see.

Enough about the past though,......

I just give up, i admit defeat,

I can't even stand on my two feet,

Why the hell should i have to continue this life,

When i keep getting cut by a knife,

The knife of society's stereotypes,

Their sad expectations, their fads and their hypes,

How can i endure this, I am not a toy,

They're playing with my mind, i'm getting annoyed,

But i am supposed to just sit back and watch,

As the world screws me over, around the clock,

I cater to their every whim, but not mine,

I work hard......

It doesn't really take a genious to see,

That i'm not what i make myself out to be,

That i'm not so ordinary, in fact i'm rather strange,

And to the unfamiliar eye i may seem somewhat deranged,

But i won't go as far to say that i am insane,

I'm simply somewhat weird, i am totally sane,

I know at times it may seem that i am psycotic,

But i will have you know i am only slightly neurotic.

Truth be told i used to be much more out of sync,

I was out of my mind, and......

I wish that i could just go back,

And put my life back on the track.

I know its over anyhow,

But i can't help but question now.

If only life was not so hard,

If all my paths had not been barred,

If only i had understood,

Would all things be the way they should?

I wish that they could see me now;

One more statistic in the crowd.

I only hope they all can see,

The horror that's become of me.

I know that they don't understand.

I'm hanging......

"Heart on Fire" 

Is it better pretending my life's going well?

My body on earth and my soul down in hell,

I cry out in pain, but to my distress,

My vision fades, im in cardiac arrest,

My heart slowly beating, the sky oh so bright,

Surprising to me that i still see the light,

As my heart stops, i give out a silent scream,

And everything goes dark, is this all a dream?

I wake up in pain, i am burning inside,

The sweltering heat, is there......